Like The Rain
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: Before moving forward, one must look back. Before Nymphadora Tonks, there was Lyric Swanson. The real story as to why our favorite professor pushed away love. RL/OC, SB/OC
1. Preface

**A/N: PREFACE**

**-C**

"What House were you in then, 'Dora?" Sirius asked the vibrant young girl, the daughter of his favorite cousin.

"Hufflepuff," responded the girl, who preferred to be referred to by her surname, Tonks.

"Ah, Moony dated a Hufflepuff once," Sirius said with a smug sort of smile.

Remus glowered at him.

"She wasn't just a Hufflepuff–"

"And by 'dated' I mean 'worshipped'," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. "Truly, the two were absolutely attached at the hip. Her name was Lyric."

"Lyric," Remus said, a little wistfully. He hadn't thought of her in so long. "Lyric Braelyn Swanson."

"That's a beautiful name," Tonks muttered. "Why couldn't my mum have given me such a beautiful name?"

"Because she's a Black, 'Dora," Sirius said with a smirk. "Black women do silly things when it comes to naming their daughters. Look at my poor old mum. Who names a child 'Walburga' and expects them to develop into a well-adjusted adult? Anyway, I hadn't thought of Lyric in a while, actually."

"No," Remus whispered. "I don't imagine that you would have. Even I hadn't thought of her in years."

"If you don't mind me asking," Tonks piped in curiously, "what happened?"

An awkward silence fell on the room. The fate of Lyric Swanson had been all over the papers. Tonks was too young to have read about it, too young to remember it. Had it been an isolated incident, she might have grown up hearing it as the horror story of what happens to someone who gets involved with the wrong sorts, but it was written off as a casualty of war, just like almost every other tragedy from those years.

"She died," Sirius said softly. "During the war, she was killed. Murdered, actually. It was a horrible thing."

Remus was aware of the worried look Sirius was giving him, but he didn't acknowledge it. He was lost in memories. Lyric on the Hogwarts Express. Lyric basking in the sun, sprawled out on the Hogwarts lawn. Lyric with foam all over her face from a butterbeer downed too quickly. Lyric dancing at one of the post-Quidditch parties. Lyric laughing. Oh, what a beautiful laugh, throwing her head back, letting her beautiful sound of glee fill the air. He had been stupid. He had ruined her.

But for a moment, for just a brief, fleeting moment, Remus had been so truly, incredibly happy. And for that moment of happiness, he would forever pay for the guilt of her demise. No one would ever convince him otherwise. He had been the reason for her tragic fate. He had allowed her too close, had let her in against his better judgment. It was not a mistake he would ever make again. Being loved was not worth the cost of losing someone so precious.

/-/

"You're getting rather close with my baby cousin, Moony."

He knew exactly what Sirius was referring to, but he ignored the statement, continuing to read the book his nose was buried it. It had been a mistake. It had been lovely, but allowing Tonks so close had been a mistake. He had been down that path before. He was not willing to go there again.

"She makes me think a bit of Lyric, you know."

Remus twitched. No. She was nothing like Lyric. Lyric had been perfect, an angel, a goddess… Tonks was lovely, but she would never, ever be Lyric. Nobody could ever replace Lyric.

"I mean, she's related to me, so that's obviously a point in her favor, but–"

Remus had slammed his book down without realizing it. Sirius frowned a little.

"I thought you were past that, Moony. Lyric was great. She was brilliant. I was an idiot, yeah, and a jerk. But she wasn't a saint. You're just feeling too much survivor's guilt to see her clearly, but it's been more than a decade. It's time to let that go."

"If you say another word," Remus said, dangerously quiet, "I'm going to drag you out onto the street and summon the Auror's myself. Is that understood?"

A flicker of a fear so intense Remus almost shuddered flashed in the grey eyes just recently free of the haunting of Azkaban, but never to be back to their former luster. It had been a harsh rebuking for a harmless pointing out of something Remus already knew so intuitively. Lyric had not been perfect. She had had many faults, the worst of which was being in love with a monster like him. But after what he had done to her, after what Sirius had done to her, after the horrific end she had met, he couldn't bring himself to remember her as anything but the angel he had always dreamed her as, the saint he had envisioned her to be before their lips had ever touched.

Her favorite book had been _Anna Karenina_. It was a Muggle story, very tragic, but she had always loved a tragic ending. He thought for a moment that she would have loved the story of her own demise, had anyone had the foresight to turn it into a play worthy of Chekov. He could almost hear her critical voice in his mind: "The only problem is that nobody shot themselves!"

She had read _Anna Karenina_ every year from fourth year on. He knew she liked it very much, so he asked his mother what it was about. Then, in an attempt to get to know Lyric better, he had asked her why she felt the need to reread a woman throwing herself in front of a train every year. She had laughed.

"That part is nice," she admitted, "but my favorite part of the novel is one of the subplots, the story of Kitty and Levin. I think it's the most beautiful love story in the world."

And there was nothing for it then. Remus had to read it for himself, and the more he read of the attempts of Levin to court the beautiful Kitty, the more he realized that this man, this simple country man, was viewing the gorgeous princess in the way Remus viewed Lyric: She could do no wrong.

Reality spoiled a bit of Levin's romanticized view of his beloved, as it also spoiled Remus's view of Lyric, but the love never died. Even as Remus sat in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, his heart still ached to think of Lyric writhing beneath him, embracing him so tightly that her fingernails pierced his skin.

Kissing Tonks had been a mistake, just as letting Lyric love him had been a mistake, but oh, what a beautiful mistake both had been.

**A/N: This is probably the beginning of a new 'career' as a Remus/OC writer. I'm sorry for those of you who liked my Sirius/OC stories. I will finish them, for I love each story as if it were a child of mine, but I just don't love Sirius anymore. He was useful for telling the stories I needed and wanted to tell, and I loved him once, but I have grown up, moved on, and Remus is the new love of my life. I hope you will continue this journey with me, and for those of you who are newly discovering my work, welcome aboard! If you like this and want to read my earliest Remus work, read **_**I'm Not Alright**_**, which is a non-romantic Sirius/OC that is actually a romantic Remus/OC. The focus of the story is her friendship with Sirius, but she is in love with Remus and there will be NO SIRIUS SMUT in that story. Cheers!**

**UPDATE: Okay, so I'm not JUST a Remus/OC writer anymore…. I've branched out in all sorts of directions and I encourage you to check out ALL my work. :D Enjoy!**

**-C**


	2. Starting Out Lyrically

Packing for school was one of her least favorite things to do. It always took twice as long as it ought to have taken, what with her changing her mind on what she wanted to bring and what she ought to bring, and her mother double checking everything she packed to make sure she hadn't forgotten something important.

Lyric had a habit of forgetting things when packing.

But this year was going to be different. This was her first N.E.W.T. level year. This was the beginning of the rest of her life. At least, that's what she told herself as she took a shower, scrubbing her vanilla scented shampoo into her chestnut brown hair. Things would be great.

"Lyric?" her mother called. "Were you just planning on not wearing socks all year?"

Dammit.

"You might want to pack some, seeing as you'll be in Scotland. I always thought socks were quite useful."

Truth be told, Lyric never would have noticed if she was wearing socks or not. She couldn't feel temperature from the waist down, something that had happened when she was little, some sort of accident, and the Healers had never been able to fix it. She was an anomaly. Still, if she didn't wear socks, she could lose toes and not even notice a thing. Just because she couldn't feel it didn't mean she was immune to it.

She got out of the shower, dried off, and swatted her father playfully on the shoulder as she went back to her trunk, tossing in random pairs of socks.

"Why don't you ever wear white ones?" her mother said with a frown. "I buy you all those nice white socks and you never wear them."

"White socks are boring," Lyric countered. "And I tell you I won't wear them. It's not as if you didn't have warning."

"I'd better go check on your brother," her mother said. "I doubt he's finished yet, but it's worth checking up.

Lyric's little brother, Elliott, was a third year Gryffindor. He didn't forget things when he was packing. He was perfect. He was everyone's favorite, every teacher's favorite. People had liked her well enough, but when Elliott came along, she was second place. It had always been like that.

Not that she was bitter. Lyric and Elliott had a wonderful relationship, at home. At school, he never said a word to her, and that was fine. She had always gotten on better with her youngest brother, anyway, Finley. He was ten, and would be starting Hogwarts in her final year.

"I like your socks," Finley said as their mother left to check on Elliott. "They're fun."

She smiled at Finley, ruffling his hair, which caused him to huff at her. Genetically speaking, as their father had brown eyes and their mother had hazel ones, and their parents both had rather dark hair, the fact that Finley had blond hair and green eyes was quite an anomaly. Lyric thought they were wonderful, though. Her own eyes were a mucky brown-green that looked greyer than green half the time, depending on what she was wearing.

When they were fully packed, it was time for bed. Lyric curled up under the covers in her small corner room, gazing out her open window at the moon. Muggles had actually made it to the moon. They had been there, walked around, and explored its surfaces. Even with magic, not a wizard on earth had accomplished that. Lyric wondered if the moon would always simply be a mystic light in the sky, controlling the tides and lives of earth in ways people could only pretend to understand.

Lyric found herself in her compartment, happily seated with her fellow Hufflepuff sixth years, Kallie Cline, Ally Dorsey, Martha Rich, and Krystal Moses. Lyric had always felt a little bit out of her element, as Kallie and Krystal had been friends since the first train ride to Hogwarts and Ally and Martha had been friends since they were babies. She was friendly with Martha and Krystal, and very close with Kallie and Ally, but Lyric could never help feeling like the odd one out when it came to pairing off. She thought of Kallie as her best friend, but she knew that when the day came, Krystal would be Kallie's Maid of Honor, and Lyric would likely be sitting with the other wedding guests.

It's not that Lyric wasn't likable. She was a bit controversial, and Kallie's mother didn't like her very much. Actually, the thing Mrs. Cline had said was, "I like Lyric just fine, I just don't approve of her morals and how she dresses."

Ally's parents, on the other hand, adored Lyric. Ally was a sweet girl, but she wasn't very bright, and her parents loved that a smart girl like Lyric was willing to pair up with their daughter in class, to spend time with her out of class, to "improve" her.

Lyric was just happy to have friends.

She hadn't always been so realistic. When she was younger, she thought the world revolved around her, truly. However, it hadn't taken long at Hogwarts to realize that wasn't the case. Her first clue? She was Sorted into Hufflepuff. In the words of the illustrious Sirius Black, "Hufflepuffs are just sort of there." Despite her best efforts to break the mold, it was very difficult to get anyone to take her seriously with a yellow-and-black tie around her neck.

This year, though, this year would be different. Lyric was going to do things, to be somebody. She was going to try to be the Quidditch commentator.

Small goal, yes, but significant to her.

"Good morning, girls," she sighed, settling in to her seat and grinning at Kallie. "Ready for another year?"

They all smiled at each other and greeted Lyric.

Despite the fact that she wasn't really anyone's closest friend, she was certainly the leader of the group. Krystal was the oldest, and she certainly ran things when Lyric wasn't around, but Lyric was the smartest, prettiest, and most talented of the five. That wasn't just her being bitchy. It was completely true. The other girls were good looking enough, but Lyric was just a bit better, though she certainly wasn't the prettiest girl in the school. She wasn't a Ravenclaw, but not for lack of intelligence, it was more for lack of intellectual aspiration. She had plenty of intellectual curiosity… in areas she cared about. If someone tried to shove Ancient Runes down her throat, she probably would have poked them in the eye. And as far as talent, well, Kallie and Krystal were talented, but they didn't have quite as wide a range of talent as Lyric had. She was good at virtually everything she tried, which frustrated her friends to no end. She couldn't help it. She was just one of those people.

One thing all four beat her at, no matter how hard she tried, was art. Kallie and Krystal in particular were incredible at drawing, but even Ally and Martha could paint circles around Lyric. It had taken her many years to come to terms with, but in her sixth year, Lyric was finally able to accept that she was just never going to be a good artist, and that was okay.

"How was your summer, Lyric?" Krystal said politely, running her fingers along the fur of her dozing cat, Pickles. "Weren't you abroad?"

"Yeah," Lyric nodded. "A few different places. Russia, Australia, America, and France. I was in Lowell, Massachusetts, which is about a half hour from Salem. My great-aunt lives there. And in France I was in Toulon, you know, where we spent last summer for Anka's wedding. Then I went to Wollongong in Australia for my cousin's wedding. And I got to spend a whole week in Volgograd, right on the river, just like I wanted. I was worried my father wouldn't let me."

The other girls laughed at that. Lyric tended to have the idea that her parents were stricter than they actually were.

"You get to do all the fun things," Ally said in a whiny sort of voice. "I wish I could go abroad. My parents won't hardly let me out of the house!"

"Yeah, but you actually live in a wizarding community," Lyric argued. That was one thing she had always been jealous of. "I'm stuck in Birmingham."

"There's a hell of a lot more going on in Birmingham than in Ottery St. Catchpole," Martha said, barely looking up from her magazine at this point. "If Ally and I didn't have each other, we'd be bored out of our minds."

That certainly did lend itself to Lyric being the odd one out: Ally and Martha had grown up in Ottery St. Catchpole together, and Krystal and Kallie had always been in Tinworth, but that was on the far corner of the country from where Lyric lived, smack in the middle of Muggle Birmingham. Her family had a nice little three-bedroom house in Stechford, more specifically, on Greetville Close and quite close to the city center. The most entertaining thing her neighbors liked to do was go to Stechford Cascades, which was a sort of water attraction with various Muggle contraptions for water. Children rather enjoyed it. Lyric didn't, anymore.

"Oh, yes, Stechford is marvelous," she said facetiously.

"Well, anyway," Kallie said firmly, but she was cut off by the door of the compartment sliding open and one Sirius Black of Gryffindor slipping in.

"Black," Krystal said calmly. "Looking for someone or hiding from someone?"

He grinned almost sheepishly, and Lyric felt her heart flutter. She didn't even like the boy, but he was just that good looking.

"Both," he said in his husky, smooth voice. "Swanson, Remus wanted me to remind you about the prefects meeting. It was one of those someone told someone else who told someone else things and somehow I ended up being the one at the end of the line. Anyway, that, and I got spotted by a bunch of crazy birds on my way over. So I figure I'm going to hide out here until they get too bored and scamper back to their holes." He dropped into the seat beside Ally, who nearly fainted. "So what were we talking about?"

Lyric smirked, leaving her friends to deal with the handful that was Sirius Black as she pinned her prefect badge to her chest and made her way to the front of the train. She had a history of being late for the train meeting, but she was usually a very punctual person. In fact, she was typically the first prefect to every meeting by at least five minutes. Lupin was usually second, although sometimes Evans beat him to it.

"Late, Swanson?" said a snide voice from the corner of the room. "Can't Hufflepuffs do anything right?"

It was a very similar voice to the one she had just heard, because it belonged to Regulus Black, brother of Sirius, and apparently the new Slytherin prefect. She frowned at him, eyes narrowed.

"Black," she spat. "For your information, Hufflepuffs have made many valuable additions to society. Artemisia Lufkin was a Hufflepuff, and Newt Scamander. And that's just to name a few!"

"That's nice, Swanson," said Frank Longbottom kindly, the Gryffindor with a Head Boy badge on his chest. "Have a seat, there's an open one by Lupin. Now, as I was saying, patrols will be organized within…"

But his voice faded into the back of her mind as she watched him speak, sitting beside the Marauder, Remus Lupin, who gave her a friendly smile as she sat. Though they had hardly spoken to each other, they had always gotten along very well whenever they had to patrol together. That actually happened very often, since not very many people liked to patrol in the corridor with the library, but Lyric and Lupin would sneak in sometimes and read books for an hour or two, when they were feeling a bit adventurous.

"… and Swanson and Lupin on the fifth floor, and I think that's everyone for the first week. If you have any questions, you can ask either of us, or any of the seventh year prefects. You'll get an owl about the next meeting. Just patrol the train at regular intervals until we arrive and help herd the first years. That's all."

People began to stand all around her and Lyric turned to Lupin, who was smiling at her.

"I see Sirius got the message to you," he said softly, a little bit hoarse. He was pale, but he often looked that way. He was sick quite a lot, and he also had a horribly behaved pet back home and an ailing mother on top of it all. Lyric had always thought he was rather brave and strong to deal with so much responsibility and be a prefect on top of it all, not to mention put up with Sirius Black and James Potter when he had so much stress in his life. "A little later than I had asked, but you still managed to make it. How was your summer?"

"It was nice, how was yours?" she said politely, glancing anxiously around the compartment for Amos Diggory, her sixth year Hufflepuff counterpart. She didn't know the password.

"It was all right," he replied. "I stayed with the Potters for a couple of weeks at the end and Sirius managed to get me on a broom, which I promptly fell off of, but there was no permanent damage done."

Lyric smiled in spite of herself. She wasn't a horrible athlete, but she also wasn't incredibly graceful, and fell quite a lot, especially in the winter when things were icy. She didn't stumble and didn't often trip, but she slipped on a fairly regular basis and she had become notorious for it as a second year. Falling off a broom, however, was a feat she had never quite accomplished.

"That must have been an interesting occasion," she said with smirk. "Are you planning a repeat performance which I might attend?"

"No," he said with a chuckle. "No, I think I'm better off with my feet safely on the ground. I can't seem to remember, do you fly, Swanson?"

"Call me Lyric, Lupin, honestly," she sighed. "Yes, I do, but I'm not as spectacular and graceful as the likes of Potter, hence your lack of remembering me. But yes, I'm a capable flyer. I think with a bit of practice and confidence you'd be just fine, Lupin, and it's an essential skill."

"Remus," he muttered, his face tingeing just a bit pink. "Call me Remus if I'm to call you Lyric."

"Lyric!"

And there was Amos Diggory, right on cue.

"Amos," she said with a sigh, turning to smile at him. "Password? I assume that's why you stuck around."

He gave Lupin – Remus – a wary look before deciding he could be trusted and saying "_Fidelus_". With another look at L- Remus, he turned and marched right back out of the compartment.

"What was that all about?" he said curiously, looking after where Amos had just exited with a frown.

"Oh, that's just Amos," she said with a snort. "He's an odd sort of fellow. I don't think he likes me very much."

"That's stupid of him," Remus said, then froze eyes wide, as if he hadn't meant to say it aloud at all.

Lyric smiled a little and laughed in spite of herself.

"Well, that's very kind of you to say, but it's true. Amos and I don't really get along. He's very… Oh, I don't know, he's very backwards, I suppose. He asked me out once, a long time ago. The date went horribly. He's looking for a girl like Kallie or Krystal who will cater to his whims and birth him a handsome, high-achieving Hufflepuff son. Any child of mine would be too hot-headed for Amos's taste, and that's if I even managed to birth a son. Miscarriages are common in my family."

"Really?" Remus said, obviously uncomfortable with the topic. "That's… that's unfortunate."

"I suppose," Lyric said with a shrug. "It's more unfortunate for my mother than anything. I don't plan to have children, so I don't think it will be much of a problem for me."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Lyric said candidly. She had this horrible habit of telling people more than she should, being too familiar with everyone, but that was a part of the trusting creature in her. "I don't expect to live past thirty, for one. I think I'm destined to die a young, tragic sort of death, and that's lovely. But I don't think I'll ever find someone who's worth being with and wants to be with me, so there's no chance to ever have a child. Besides," she said with a laugh, "who would want to be pregnant? It sounds like a horrible sort of business, from what I know."

"That's..." Remus frowned, obviously looking for something tactful to say after such a shocking personal revelation. "That's very…"

"You don't have to comment," she said honestly, adjusting her badge. "The only person who ever comments is my mother, and she's appalled. It's not as if she hasn't got two other kids to give her grandchildren. I don't know why she bothers pinning her hopes and dreams on me. I'm rather sick of it. Anyway," she muttered, fumbling with the pin. Naturally, she stuck herself in the thumb. "Damn it!" she hissed, sucking her thumb and allowing the pin to hang precariously from her chest. "This stupid thing never goes on straight!"

"Here," Remus said nervously, reaching out a hand. "Allow me."

Then with one quick, graceful movement, he steered her pin into place on her breast and deftly locked it into place without sticking either one of them.

"There," he breathed. "Now it's straight. How's your thumb?"

"Oh, it's fine," she muttered, blushing slightly. "Just a little prick, nothing to worry about. There's no blood, so I'll be fine." She bit her lip thoughtfully. "Anyway, I'd better get back to my compartment or Ally will start to wonder where I've gotten to. Have a nice ride. I'll see you at Hogwarts."

"Yeah," he called after her, and she gave him one last smile before hurrying off to her friends, anxious to see if Krystal and Sirius Black had attacked each other yet.


	3. Somebody To Love

It was a rainy night when Remus had his first patrol of the year with Lyric Swanson, who had asked him to call her by her first name just days previously. For some reason, the request had made Remus's stomach do a little flip. That night, the night he and Lyric Swanson finally found themselves on a first name basis, some events occurred in the Marauders' dormitory which Remus found disturbing.

"So," Sirius had said, "another year, another challenge. Who's it going to be this year, boys?"

"I think you've slept with everyone in Gryffindor, Padfoot," James said, laughing as he fell onto his bed. "Except my darling Evans."

"Obviously," Sirius conceded.

"And all the Ravenclaws," Peter piped up helpfully.

"Have I really?" Sirius mused. "Interesting. I suppose it's down to the Hufflepuffs, then. You know who's really blossomed this year?"

The goofy, lecherous grin on his friend's face made Remus worry deep in the pit of his silly, flippy stomach.

"Who, Martha?" Remus said tensely, pulling off his shirt as he readied for bed.

"Are you kidding, Moony?" James laughed. "Where would the challenge be in that?"

"No," Sirius said with his own bark of laughter. "No, Swanson. I mean, she was pretty enough before. She's certainly no Evans, but–"

Remus dropped the shoe he had just removed and glared at Sirius.

"No," he snapped.

"What are you talking about, Moony?" Sirius said, confused, frowning a little. "She is pretty."

"Of course," Remus growled. "She's beautiful. She's more beautiful than Lily, but you're not going to touch her."

The other three blinked, shocked and obviously more than a little confused.

"Okay," Sirius said slowly. "What, is she contagious or something?"

It was a bad attempt at a joke to relieve the tension in the air, Remus knew, but in that moment it didn't matter. Remus was furious.

"Shut up, Sirius," he snapped.

"Woah, Moony, calm down," James said firmly. "What's the matter? What's the deal with Swanson?"

"She's – she…" Remus sighed, trying to calm himself. "I – she…"

"Oh, I get it," Sirius said, a grin spreading across his face. "Remus likes her. You could have just told me so, Moony. I've kept my hands off Evans, haven't I? C'mon, what's the big deal? I thought there were no secrets amongst friends."

The truth was Remus hadn't fully realized he had feelings for Lyric until that afternoon, and the actual classification that these were feelings didn't occur to him until Sirius had said the words aloud.

And now it was several days later, a rainy night, and he was waiting for her beside the statue of Boris the Bewildered. There she was, hair a little bit messy, because she didn't like to comb it, tie loose, and running toward him, smiling.

"You're early!" she greeted him, waving. "Fifth floor, eh? Why can't we be on the fourth floor? We had so much fun there last year."

Remus shrugged.

"I guess Frank feels bad about making us patrol the library all the time because nothing ever happens there. People are constantly trying to sneak into the prefects' bath, though."

"You know," she said thoughtfully as they began to stroll along the hall, "I've never used to prefects' bath. I wonder what it's like."

"Me neither," Remus muttered. It was the truth. He hadn't even told his friends the password, because James had been given access at the same time as Gryffindor Quidditch captain. He only knew what it looked like because Sirius described it every time he told them about one of his escapades there because Peter and Remus had never gone in.

"I should probably try it sometime," she said, not looking at Remus as she looked in each empty room they passed. "It would probably be nice to relax in the bath from time to time, the hot water, maybe some bubbles, but not too many. Bubbles can be irritating. And a nice book." Remus shuddered. "Maybe Chekov or _Anna Karenina_. Yes, that's what I'll do; I'll read _Anna Karenina_ in the prefects' bath this year!"

Remus could just picture it, Lyric with her smooth, naked body surrounded by just a teasing hint of warm, soapy water, sitting in the edge of a vast, swimming pool of a tub, her nose in a tragic Russian book for hours and hours as she read. He wondered if the real thing would look nearly as beautiful as the picture in his mind. But then, of course it would, because Lyric was even prettier in real life than in his fantasies.

There was a long window beside Gregory the Smarmy and Lyric stopped, looking out on the grounds. The rain was making the windowpane blurry and the whole scene looked like an Impressionist painting. She smiled.

"It's beautiful this way," she said when Remus joined her at the window. "I like the rain. It makes things look better, smell better… except for dogs. And there's some sort of tragic dramatic quality to rain, reminds us that we're human. The raw pain, the natural depression of a rainy day… I wonder why it never rains in Chekov. I suppose tragedies on a sunny day are that much more tragic, but I want my tragedy to be in the middle of a thunderstorm. There's something about crying in the rain that's sort of beautiful."

Remus watched the way her beautiful eyes lit up at the thought and he wondered why she thought she would have a tragedy. He didn't want her to have a tragedy; he wanted to protect her from anything and everything. But the way she spoke about things was beautiful, even if her morbidity and melancholy made him a bit uncomfortable at times.

She wasn't always so strange. When she was with her friends, she was the loudest, merriest, most boisterous one. Her energy and intelligence had been what had drawn Remus to her in the first place, but once they had begun to patrol together and he had seen this thoughtful, deeper side to her, he thought she was an angel. He didn't deserve an angel. He was a monster.

But it didn't stop him from wanting her.

Her beautiful eyes…

She looked up and saw him watching her and he felt crimson creep into his cheeks, but he didn't dare look away. It was better to admit such things, Sirius had told him once, than to attempt to say you hadn't looked at all. Girls think there's something wrong with them if you look away too quickly.

"Your eyes are amazing," he breathed, not sure why he had said it aloud, other than the sweet, questioning look he was giving him absolutely begged an answer.

"No they're not," she said, her voice breathy and small. "Yours are… beautiful."

His eyes, flecked with gold, were a sign he was a monster. He hated his eyes. He wanted eyes like hers, normal and yet wild and different, without being a symbol of something wild and dangerous.

"No," he said softly. "But I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree."

Then he noticed something he often noticed about Lyric, but since they were finally talking about real things and he wasn't just desperately attempting to make conversation, he thought he'd point it out.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked nervously. "I mean, you don't have to patrol in uniform. Most girls don't."

She frowned, confused.

"Why would I be cold?"

He gestured to her legs – those perfect, shiny, toned legs, not a pair of sticks like some girls had – which were bare except for where her skirt hit just above the knee. They were usually this way, even when it was snowing outside, and he often found himself wondering what they looked like beneath her skirt, what beautiful thighs she might have that he couldn't see.

But he always blushed at the thought and then reprimanded himself for thinking such things.

"Oh," she laughed. "That. Yeah, I'm fine, I hadn't even noticed, but I suppose you're probably right, I probably am cold." She touched her leg with her finger tips and frowned. "Wow, I'm _really_ cold."

That was odd. Couldn't she just think about it and know if her legs were cold? Why did she have to touch them? She saw him frowning at her and laughed.

"Oh, don't tell anyone this because they'll think I'm crazy or something, but I don't feel heat from the waist down. Like, you could poke me with a hot iron and I'll be uncomfortable, but I won't be able to tell you if it's burning hot or freezing cold if you've got me blindfolded. I mean, my body's still affected by the cold, so it's kind of dangerous in the winter, but I don't really notice most of the time."

He blinked. She honestly couldn't feel that her legs were freezing? Remus fought the urge to take his hands and systematically warm her legs, starting at the bottom and warming them all the way to the waist with his fingers, his breath… No, he couldn't think of her like that, as much as he wanted to. He needed to focus on the patrol.

"Maybe we should keep walking, then," he muttered, "warm you up a bit."

"Of course!" she cried happily. "Lead on."

As they walked he talked with her about the things she had recommended he read which he had tackled over the summer. There were Chekov plays, a Turgenev novel, and a collection of short stories by a man named Poe. She certainly loved literature with a darker side, and she gushed about the Chekov for nearly an hour.

"I'm so glad you take my reading advice, Remus," she beamed. "So many people write off a lot of Muggle culture, but they have such beautiful classical literature. I think it's a shame to ignore great art, even if it's created by Muggles."

They discussed literature, music, and their first Transfiguration essay of the year for quite a while until he dropped her off at the Hufflepuff common room and made his way back to Gryffindor Tower feeling as though he were walking on air, the way he always felt after time with Lyric.

"Hey, mate," Sirius said as Remus came back in and settled in his bed, not even bothering to change his clothes as he hugged a pillow to his chest. "Ah, patrolling with Swanson again? You've got that dreamy look on your face. How was she?"

Remus frowned, trying to hide his blush as he turned, tossed the pillow aside and searched for his pajamas. Sirius always had to spoil things like this with talking about them.

"She was good. A bit cold. But she seemed to have had a nice summer and she certainly looked lovely."

He could have kicked himself for letting that last bit slip out of his mouth, especially when he heard Sirius chuckling at him. There was no joking about Lyric. Lyric was perfect. Lyric was wonderful. She deserved to be reverently worshiped, not laughed at. Although, he reminded himself, taking deep breaths to calm himself so as not to hit Sirius, his friend was not laughing at Lyric, but rather laughing at Remus's absolute obsession with her.

"When are you going to ask the bird out, Moony?" James called from the other side of the room. "She's a catch, and she'll be gone before you know it if you keep this up."

"Yeah, some Hufflepuff with enough balls to follow his hormones is going to realize she exists sooner or later," Sirius pointed out rather crassly. "She's pretty enough, and she's certainly got a nice pair of tits."

Remus couldn't help himself, he threw the pillow right at Sirius's head, but the boy laughed, dodged it easily and continued to laugh at Remus's angry face.

"Relax, Moony, she's just a bird."

"She's not just any girl, Sirius," Remus growled. "Lyric Swanson is… she's… she… she's perfect," he finished lamely, completely unable to find the right words to describe how wonderful he found her. James nodded knowingly. It was then that Remus realized he had effectively just described her exactly how James had described Lily several years previously.

Great. He was going to end up stalking the poor girl. He was doomed to being turned down by her for years.

Well, there was a simple remedy to that. He just wouldn't ask her out. It's not as if he could dater her, anyway, being a werewolf. As soon as she found out, she'd run for the hills. And anyway, that's if she even would say yes. She probably had someone in Hufflepuff she had her sights on. Most people dated within their own house, especially if they were looking for a serious relationship.

"You know," James mused, "Minnie told me her name was on the list of people who are going to try for Quidditch commentator. I hadn't taken her for a Quidditch fan."

"Oh, yeah," Sirius said. "Haven't you seen her out there cheering on her friends? Anyway, Elliott was saying the other day how sports-crazed his whole family is. I guess his dad was a big deal Quidditch player in his time at school, would have gone on to play for England if he hadn't injured himself badly in his last game at Hogwarts. His mum played when she was younger, but she quit when she got to her N.E.W.T. years to make time for her studies. Apparently, they were pretty much raised on broomsticks. In fact, Elliott says she'd make a damn good Keeper, if she gave herself half the chance, but that she's too scared to try."

James turned over this new information in his mind before nodding and saying, "Well, that means at least one of the people on the list has a shot at knowing what they're talking about. Anyway, you think her little brother's going to be a Gryffindor? We could always use another good player."

"I dunno, I don't talk to the girl," Sirius snorted. "Why don't you ask Moony?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably as he pulled on his shirt, crawling into bed.

"It's difficult to say, but I think he might be a Hufflepuff, actually. Lyric says he's an awful lot like her. She thinks he's got a good shot at Gryffindor, too, but she suspects he'll be a Hufflepuff."

The boys then began talking about the tactical matters of Quidditch and Remus crawled into bed, rolling over and closing his eyes, thinking about the gentle curve of Lyric's legs leading up under her skirt, the cheerful sparkle of her eyes, the warmth of her musical laughter, the inviting draw of her full lips, and the rhythmic roll of her voice as it washed over him. He dreamt of her, as he did every time they patrolled together, but this was the most vivid dream yet.

He was in the library, patrolling with her, of course, and she had stopped to look at a book on a lower shelf, bending over to read the title. He had caught sight of her legs, her delicious looking thighs under her skirt, and he had lost control over himself, lost all sense of restraint. Slowly, he had made his way over to her, running his fingers along the curve of her thighs, and she didn't move to stop him. Instead, she straightened, grabbed his hand, and led it up to her core.

Her arms and legs wrapped around him, surrounding him with her warmth, her deliciously inviting scent, and her lips made torturous contact with his neck. Those silken, mischievous lips, the things he had so longed to kiss for such a long time, that had tantalized and mesmerized him for two long years, were pressed against his neck, nuzzling his sensitive skin and parting to tease him with her teeth, her tongue, the tickle of her hot breath.

Just as the dream started to get unbearably good, as somehow their clothes had vanished, and she had begun grinding her body against him as he suckled her breasts, Remus found himself being shaken awake by James.

"Remus," James muttered, "I'm sorry, but you were moaning and groaning out her name in your sleep and I figured I'd save you the embarrassment of having Sirius wake you from a sex dream. I'm sorry. I'm sure it was really nice, but trust me, you don't want him to be the one to interrupt those. It sort of ruins the whole experience. Sorry."

Remus merely grunted his acknowledgement, thrilled that his friend couldn't see in the dark how incredibly bright he was blushing.

Lyric had completely gotten under his skin, and Sirius was right. If he didn't do something about it, someone else would take her. He deserved someone else, someone better. But could he handle seeing her walking around on someone else's arm, some other bloke kissing her lips, holding her small frame and making her sweet voice moan someone else's name? He tried to picture in his mind the life he knew she deserved, with some faceless stranger, tall, handsome, and fully human, standing at an altar, pledging his undying love for her, and giving her a dozen beautiful children who looked just like her. She would be an author, of course, and in her spare time she would pass legislation for marginalized groups, for that was how he had first fallen in love with her, when she had told him how horrified she was at the lack of rights for vampires, werewolves, centaurs, and others. She was an angel with a heart of gold and deserved all of that and more.

And yet at the thought of her having all of those things and him not being a part of any of it, his chest filled with the most horrific, gut-wrenching sort of pain he had ever experienced. He tried to think of something else, but the pain refused to subside, and after several minutes he crawled out of bed, made his way to the bathroom, and promptly vomited violently several times into the nearest toilet until he was merely dry heaving. Then he collapsed on the floor, shaking and sweaty and pale, knowing absolutely that he would never, ever be okay with her being with someone else. The others were right. He needed to do something. But how?


	4. Happy At Least In Hopes

**A/N: Okay, guys, I've set up at tumblr for this. The url is lyricbraelynswansonlupin dot tumblr dot com. I've never done this before, but if it catches on I'll do this for some of my other stories as well. I'll accept submissions, answer questions as Lyric, and post as Lyric. By the time I post this chapter it should be up and running, so check it out!**

**-J**

Lyric was shaking uncontrollably that morning at breakfast. That morning would be Gryffindor Quidditch trials, which would be when Professor McGonagall would be testing out all of the people who had signed up to be Quidditch commentators and making her decision for the season. Lyric had never had a real problem with stress, but looking down at her breakfast, food she typically loved to eat, she had an urge to run away from the table. None of it looked even remotely appetizing. The worst part was, she was hungry, she wanted the food, but she absolutely couldn't make herself eat it. She wanted to cry from frustration.

"All right, love?" Ally said cheerfully, sitting down across from Lyric and buttering a piece of toast. "You look like you haven't touched your food. Today's the big day, eh? Ready for the commentating?"

Lyric nodded, although she felt like such a liar. She had wanted so badly to be the commentator, but now that it was time to actually try for it, she wanted nothing more than to run the other direction screaming. Surely she would make a fool of herself.

"Relax, pet," Martha said, sitting down and heaping sausage onto her own plate. "You know more about Quidditch than most people I've met. You'll be just fine."

It was true; Lyric knew quite a lot about Quidditch. She tried to ignore the fact that her knees were knocking as she made her way out to the Quidditch pitch. There were only three people trying for commentators, her and two Slytherin boys who looked at Lyric with cold sneers on their faces.

The day was a bit of a blur. Professor McGonagall had them describe the events of the tryouts, then sat them down separately and drilled them on the rules of the game, what was and was not acceptable to be said while commentating, and gave them a few difficult scenarios and asked what they would say in the given situation. Lyric had to lie through her teeth about what she really wanted to say for a couple of those situations, knowing that inappropriate statements about how dirty Slytherin played, while earning her brownie points with Professor McGonagall and being completely true, were not likely to get her the job.

"Very well," Professor McGonagall said. "I shall be in touch with the three of you later in this week. It is very likely that I shall discuss my decision with Professor Dumbledore and Professors Slughorn and Sprout before making my final announcement, so as to ensure fairness in the decision making. Your House will not make a difference, but I want to be absolutely certain that your Heads of House agree with my decision so as not to cause any sort of chaos or outrage at the final choice. Have a pleasant day, all of you."

Lyric sighed. The worst was over. It was out of her hands at this point. And she was hungry.

The trails were still going, but she ran into Remus on the way out of the stands.

"Oh, Lyric," he said with a smile. "How did it go?"

"I think it went all right," she said nervously. "I don't find out until later this week. Is James enjoying being in charge?"

Remus chuckled.

"James always thinks he's in charge, even when he's not. I think he'll enjoy his sanctioned power much more when he's actually dealing with his chosen team, however. I don't think he's really a fan of all the idiots who turned out for the sake of working with James Potter. Are you hungry? I was just going back to go to the kitchens. I missed breakfast. James insisted."

"Actually, I'm starving, and that sounds lovely," she admitted, following him back up to the school.

"I finally read that book you're always on about," Remus said, tickling the pear in a portrait, which apparently led to the kitchens (Lyric learned something new every day!). "The Tolstoy one."

Lyric grinned.

"What did you think of it?"

He cleared his throat and quoted, "'Shall I tell her now? But that's why I'm afraid to tell her, because I'm happy now, happy at least in hopes… And then?'"

She felt her heart flutter excitedly. He had memorized parts of the book… What was more, he had memorized things to do with Levin and Kitty, her favorite parts of the book.

"So you liked Levin?" she said with eagerness. "He's my absolute favorite."

"Not mine," he admitted, almost sheepishly. Her face fell slightly.

"No?"

"No," he repeated. "I like Kitty." He smiled one of those smiles that happen when one doesn't realize they've begun to smile. "She reminds me of someone I know."

"Really?" Lyric gasped. "She must be wonderful. Kitty's an absolute angel."

"She is," Remus muttered, looking down at the table. He quoted again, "'He walked down, for a long while avoiding looking at her as at the sun, but seeing her, as one does the sun, without looking.'"

Lyric kept smiling in spite of herself. It was beautiful to hear his voice whisper those words, the words that had so long been to her what love really ought to be. She had wondered if she had a Levin, would she do as Kitty had done and turn him away. Would she get a second chance? Life didn't typically give second chances, and wonderful men like Levin who actually worshiped girls didn't really exist. Especially girls as un-Kitty-ish as herself. After all, she wasn't a Princess, she wasn't beautiful (although she was reasonably attractive), and she certainly didn't have the attention of all the eligible boys. In fact, she had almost no attention from any boys.

"Do you love her?" Lyric asked, realizing that his Kitty was probably someone he loved at least similar to how Levin loved Kitty. "Your Kitty. Do you love her?"

Remus continued to look down at his plate, and if Lyric had really been watching him closely she would have seen that he was trembling, that beads of sweat were rolling conspicuously down his brow, but she was half in her own world dreaming of a boy who would actually love her like that.

"Yes," he sighed. "She's… she's incredible. I love her absolutely and I think she doesn't even see me when she looks at me. I honestly think she looks right through me, her mind stuck on far more interesting and important things, but I still love watching her look at me. It makes me feel… important."

Lyric snorted.

"That's ridiculous, Remus, you're terribly important. After all, you're a prefect," she said thoughtfully, smiling at him. "And you're a Marauder. I'm not sure how Hogwarts would function without you boys. Certainly, it would be far duller."

"But I'm not Sirius," Remus insisted. "I'm not James. When people sit around and chat about us, they forget I even exist half the time."

"Well, those people don't matter," she said with a shrug. "Plenty of people sit around not talking about me, and I don't let it worry me. Everyone adores my brother, but he finds himself with so many people he doesn't even like claiming to be his friends because they honestly think he likes them. He's just that sort of person. I tick some people off and put others off, but at least the people who say they're my friends actually are. It's not so bad, sometimes," she added as an afterthought, "being invisible. I'd like to try it."

He frowned a little as she took a drink of pumpkin juice.

"Besides," she added, "if she doesn't look at you and think you're amazing, she's probably not even worth the effort. If a girl can't appreciate you for the wonderful person you are, she's not ready for you, and she may never be. Remember, Kitty didn't accept Levin at first. She needed to grow up, understand the world better. He may have thought she was perfect, but at the time he first proposed, she was far from the person he needed her to be, the person she needed to be."

"I don't think that's the problem," Remus said, pushing a little bit of food around on his plate.

"Then what do you suppose is the problem?"

"She could never love someone like me," he sighed.

Lyric bit her lip. There it was. The moment of truth. To say something about it, or to pretend she hadn't noticed, hadn't seen a thing? After all, she kept the line about his sick mother and badly-behaved pet, but she had seen through all that after a bit of well-intentioned digging. Those were just the euphemisms for the true issue that he had no idea she knew about, and she often actually forgot about.

"Are you talking about your… affliction?"

He looked up at her, eyes wide with fear and surprise.

"I've known for a while," she admitted with a sheepish smile. She had discovered that he was a werewolf almost a week after they'd had their first patrol together. "It took a bit of putting two and two together, but… I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you, having to deal with that all the time, the fear of people finding out. I… I won't pressure you to talk about it, but I wanted you to know that I do know, and it doesn't change the way I look at you, and if this girl you like is as great as you think she is, it wouldn't change anything for her, either."

For a split second, she thought he was going to run away, that he was going to cry, perhaps even yell at her. She'd never seen such an expression on his face before.

"But look at it from her perspective," he finally said. "Let's say… let's say knowing everything you know about me, I sit here and ask you out. Even if there were a chance you liked me, you'd have to take into consideration that I turn into a horrible, dangerous monster once a month. I'd never be able to get a real job, nothing long-term. I'd probably never be able to have children, not with a risk of passing on my condition. It would have to color the way you looked at the situation."

"I suppose," Lyric said, biting her lip a little. He was right, it was an important factor. "But I'm odd, Remus. To me, all of those things are positives. Sure, your girl probably would mind, but if she were anything like me, she might consider you an even better catch. I mean, honestly, you're the perfect tragic hero, unable to hold on to a real job, live the life you've dreamed of because of circumstances out of your control… it's beautifully dark. Think of how hard I'll have to work to top a backstory like that."

She laughed a little, but he tensed, watching her more intently. Had she said something wrong? Her friends often told her that she had a tendency to take her morbidity too far, but she hadn't thought… Well, perhaps he was more sensitive about it than she had realized. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut after all.

"What about you?" he said a bit hoarsely. "Have you got your eye on a Levin? Or perhaps a Vronsky, since you so admire the tragic."

It was hard not to laugh at that.

"No, not really," she admitted. "For one thing, I couldn't really be a proper Anna, as I am unattached, and I don't really want to throw myself in front of a train, anyway. I can't imagine that would be a very comfortable way to die. And so much self-determination. I'd like my manner of death chosen by someone else, thank you very much. That way I can't chicken out at the last moment from something spectacular and go for something lame, like poison. Everyone does poison, you know, Remus. There's never any blood. But any Chekov play worth its salt has someone shooting themselves, or getting shot in a duel or something.

"No," she continued. "I think a Levin would be more my style, anyway, someone to miss me terribly when I'm gone. I just haven't found one yet. Kitty was very… loved. Very likable. Easy to get on with. I'm not like that at all. I don't think it would be possible for anyone to adore me half that much."

"Don't be so sure of that," he muttered, fumbling with his fork. "So… If I… If I were to ask you out, here and now, knowing what you know about me… w-what would you say? I mean… honestly."

He was blushing so furiously that he looked something like a sandy-haired tomato. Lyric blinked. That was an odd sort of hypothetical question. Still, she couldn't resist answering questions. But what was the answer?

He was a handsome sort of boy, a bit more rugged than his Marauder counterparts, and certainly quieter. He did seem to be a bit of a tortured soul, which was incredibly attractive to her. Remus had never seemed to mind her quirks, like the fact that she showed up incredibly early for most things and late for everything else, the fact that she hated socks, her morbidity, even her yellow-and-black necktie. They had gotten on well from their first meeting, and now they found themselves patrolling together more and more regularly she knew that they had plenty to talk about. They were very good friends.

The real question was what if she said yes and something happened between them? Patrols could be awkward, she would lose the wonderful friend she had in Remus, and she would incur the wrath of the Marauders, because it would probably be her fault. Remus was flawless, and she was a walking freak show. Making Sirius and James angry was a dangerous business, just ask Severus Snape. There would be a lot of risk involved with being with Remus, and none of it had to do with his condition. Still…

"That's a difficult question," she said honestly. "As much as I would be afraid to risk the friendship we've developed over the last year, if you were ever to ask me something like that, I think I'd have to say yes. You're sweet, intriguing, attractive, and incredibly easy to talk to and be around. I think it would be worth the risk."

She supposed that her own hypothetical question was in order, to balance the conversation, but before she could think of a decent one, he asked, "Would you like to go out sometime?"

Lyric blinked.

Remus blushed.

"M-maybe like Hogsmeade on the next date… or… I don't know. Something. Sometime. I'd really like to spend time with you more, like this, not on patrol. I-I-… Please."

Well, she mused, it was certainly an anticlimactic request, but sweet in its own sort of way. But hadn't he said he had a Kitty in mind? Hadn't he gushed about some perfect girl he was madly in love with?

And then Lyric realized… he had been talking about her. He actually looked at her that way, saw her the way Levin saw Kitty. All of the reasons she should have said no melted into insignificance and she found herself reaching out to touch his shaking hand. She smiled a little as his eyes widened hopefully.

"I'd love that," she finally said, biting her lip a little.

The smile on his face would have made saying yes worth it even if she hadn't wanted to. It absolutely lit up the room, completely made her stomach flutter with excitement.

"G-great," he stuttered. "W-well, maybe Hogsmeade, then? Of course, there's a month until… what about… um, how about… You know what, I'm going to consult some experts and get back to you on details, is that all right?"

Lyric laughed. 'Experts' obviously meant 'Sirius Black' and as long as the date didn't consist of a sixth-floor broom cupboard or sex on the Quidditch pitch, she supposed that could be fine. At least a few of the girls Sirius had been with had gotten real dates out of him.

"That sounds perfectly fine," she said. "If you want to lift the pressure of the whole 'first date' experience, I'd be happy to call this a first date."

His eyes widened.

"This? What, right now? No! Absolutely not! I can do so much better, Lyric, I promise! You deserve a much better first date than the Hogwarts kitchens!"

She sighed a little. She hoped that he didn't always treat her like a breakable piece of china, but for now she could handle it. After all, the more he spent time around her, the more he would surely see how not-perfect she was. For now, she would let him keep his illusions. Sometimes illusions were a nice thing.

They parted, and she kissed him softly on the cheek as a sort of goodbye, noticing the fact that he reverently lifted his fingertips to the place she had kissed as she walked away, watching her go.

"What took you so long?" Kallie pressed when she got back to the dormitory, gathering up her things to work on homework. "We were just about to go looking for you. Trials were over ages ago!"

"Remus ran into me on the way back to the castle," she said, unable to hide her smile. "We went to the kitchens and talked for a while."

"Remus?" Ally demanded, eyebrows raised. "If it was just him, why are you grinning like an idiot and blushing like mad?"

For a moment, Lyric considered not telling them. After all, it was her private life and it would be nice to have a secret or two. But Lyric was Lyric, and she couldn't resist spreading good news, especially because if all went well the world would know about it soon enough. Hogwarts worked that way.

"I've just been asked out by Remus Lupin," she said, biting her lip a little to temper her smile, but failing miserably as the other girls squealed excitedly. "He's going to work out the details, because I said yes. I'm going on a date with Remus!"


	5. Taking Steps Forward

"Where've you been, Moony? You disappeared after trials."

Remus tried to frown at them, but he couldn't make a dent in the silly smile that had formed on his face.

"Oh, don't lie," he hissed at Sirius. "I know you know perfectly well where I was, Sirius. I'm sure you looked me up on the map."

"Well, if he hadn't," James teased, "your goofy smile would have given it away. How's Swanson?"

"Ah, yeah, she's good," Remus said, blushing again. "I, um, need to talk to you, actually, Sirius. In private, if you don't mind."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and smirked as James and Peter began laughing uncontrollably.

"Absolutely, Moony, happy to be of service. Let's go up to the dorm. Don't bother following us, James, I'm taking the map and checking regularly that you stay in the common room and don't try following under your Cloak!"

James pouted a little, but nodded as Sirius and Remus went up to the dormitory.

"So," Sirius said gleefully, "what happened?"

"I sort of… erm, I asked her out," Remus admitted sheepishly. "And she said… she said yes, Sirius. And I had no idea what to do! I mean, I don't want to wait for Hogsmeade, but I don't know how else to take her on a date! And she's a classy girl, even if I were comfortable with a broom cupboard or the prefect's bath or something, she's not going to want that!"

"Not on a first date, anyway," Sirius conceded.

"Exactly!" Remus cried. "And she deserves a perfect first date and I've got no idea how to deliver it! And even when I know what to do, what on earth do I say? What do I wear? What do girls expect from a guy, as far as physical pacing? And not a guy like you, but someone a bit more… I don't know, a bit more like James. I mean, to be perfectly honest," Remus admitted, blushing, "I want nothing more than to rip her clothes off and ravage her every time I'm with her, but I can't… I can't treat her like that! She's an angel."

Sirius blinked in shock at Remus's revelation, but nodded a little.

"Well, first things first, mate, we've got to think of a proper date for the pair of you. What do you two talk about?"

"Books."

"Okay, what does she like?"

"Books."

"Erm, what does she do in her spare time?"

"Reads."

"Sweet Merlin, Moony, you're right, she and I never would have worked. Okay, so what if… what if you take her out, sneak out to Hogsmeade on the weekend, go look at books and stuff, get some chocolate, take her for a butterbeer, you know, all that, but when there's not everyone else around?"

Remus's eyes widened.

"But Sirius, we're prefects! I'm a prefect! I can't sneak out of the school!"

"And yet you don't turn us in every month," Sirius teased. "Look, you're a Marauder. She's not likely to be scandalized. In fact, she probably rather expects a bit of rule breaking. And I'm afraid there's not much else I can think of, unless you want to take her on a date to the library, but I'm sure you two have already done that, so it's not a very special idea, is it?"

It was true, Remus had thought about the library, but Sirius was right, that wasn't quality first date material. What if she really was looking for him to do something daring, something Marauder-like?

"I guess I could do that, then," he decided. "Next weekend, you think?"

"The sooner you do it," Sirius said with a smirk, "the sooner she'll be wrapped around your little finger! Now, the date. I'll leave you to figure out where to go, and I'm sure you two can figure out plenty to talk about, but compliment her… a lot. And not just basic stuff like, 'you look nice' or 'you smell good', although those are perfectly good things to say, but say stuff like 'your hair is really great today, I like when you do it like that' or 'you smell really good, is that a new shampoo?' Shows her you've taken notice of her in the past and you're not just saying stuff because you're on a date and you feel like you have to."

"What do I wear?" Remus said nervously. When Sirius went on actual dates, he wore nice clothing, usually expensive stuff, and James even dressed up for the days he went out of his way to ask Lily out for things. Remus didn't have nice clothes. Even if they weren't all so bad, he felt incredibly shabby compared with Sirius and James.

"Tell you what," Sirius said, scratching his head thoughtfully, "you can borrow something of mine, if you'd like. Just remind me that morning and we'll pick something out."

"Do I… do I kiss her?" Remus whispered, terrified and elated at the thought all at once. He was so entranced by the thought that he might have a chance to touch his lips to her gorgeous lips that he didn't noticed the amused smirk Sirius was sporting.

"If you think the date's gone at all well, it's always worth a go," Sirius said knowingly. "You're thinking about her lips, aren't you?"

Remus nodded dumbly, not even bothering to fight the smile that built on his own.

"She's certainly got nice lips," Sirius said in his expert-like voice. "Almost as nice as her ass."

The wolf in Remus gave a possessive sort of growl and Sirius laughed.

"You know, mate, she's a very pretty girl. What are you going to do if you two hit it off and you overhear some guy talking about her in more graphic ways than I just did? You can't maul him, as much as you'd like to. You've got to get used to the idea that guys are going to want your girl. Trust me, though, if she's as good a girl as I think, she's not going to even notice they're looking, much less encourage it."

He knew Sirius was right, but it was a difficult thing for Remus to control, that urge to protect his mate.

He felt like such a monster, he hadn't even taken her out yet and he was already mentally referring to her as his mate! She would probably back out instantly if she knew, if she somehow found out how primal his regard for her was.

But it was so much more than that. It was primal, yes, but cerebral at the same time. She fed all parts of him equally and well. Sirius could tease all he wanted, but Remus could tell that he was a bit jealous, especially as James had already found someone he was mad about. Remus suspected that their friend was beginning to feel a bit left out.

It took three days to work up the courage and resolve to plan a date to Hogsmeade on a non-Hogsmeade weekend. Yes, she would love the date, despite and maybe because of its forbidden nature, and her enjoyment was more important to Remus than any rules imposed by the powers that be. Once he had reached this realization, all he had to do was ask her.

He decided to go for it on their patrol. She looked particularly lovely that night, hair a bit disheveled, cheeks a bit rosy as she met him beside the prefect's bath. Remus couldn't help but smile as he looked at her, smiling up at him, rolling her wand idly between her hands.

"Good evening," she said brightly as he reached her. "Fancy seeing you here."

Remus could feel his palms start to sweat, his hands begin to shake and he realized he had to propose it then and there or he would lose his nerve entirely.

"I've thought of a date," he said swiftly, "but it would involve breaking several rules…"

Lyric's grin widened and her eyes sparkled brightly.

"Really? That sounds exciting. What sort of rules?"

His heart rate was probably unhealthily fast, but his heart was able to withstand more, what with being a werewolf and all. In a last-minute decision, he said, "Well, we're going to sneak off the grounds, for one thing. Just Hogsmeade, but… not on a Hogsmeade weekend. I… I didn't want to wait that long."

Any worry and fear that had been in Remus before telling her about the date evaporated at her excited face, and the way she moved closer and closer to him as they walked. When their hands brushed he thought his heart had stopped completely, and when she tentatively laced her fingers in his… well, Remus was sure all his dreams had come true.

"Have you finished the Transfiguration paper?" she asked quietly, squeezing his hand a little. "I'm really at a loss for the steps of Animagus training. She wants so much from us and I've hardly been able to find anything."

As much as he wanted to use it as an excuse to spend more time with Lyric, Remus recognized that she needed help, and the best help she could get was from Sirius or James. James wouldn't likely be willing to work with her, but Sirius never turned down an opportunity to spend time with a pretty girl, even if the girl was Lily Evans and he did nothing but irritate her.

"Actually, the guy to talk to about that is Sirius," Remus admitted. "He'd really be able to help with that. If you'd like, I can get him to help you out."

"Really?" she said, excited. "That would be great! He and Potter are top of the class, aren't they? Lily Evans was a great tutor for Potions. Sometimes I think I wouldn't be able to pass without her help."

"I always thought you were good at Potions," Remus said, feeling his hair stand on end as she moved even closer to him as they walked.

She nodded and said, "I was, definitely, when we first started out. But the further we've gotten the more I've struggled. I like to stick with what I'm naturally good at. Like… like Runes. I'm very good at Runes."

"You're very good at Defense," he said.

Lyric laughed.

"No, no I'm not. I'm barely passable. You, though, you're excellent. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two at some point."

"I'd like that," he muttered, realizing she was close enough to smell… Cherry blossoms… vanilla… he wanted to bury his face in her hair and just breathe her in, place kisses along her neck to taste her skin… run his fingertips down her collarbone and down to… No. She was a lady. She deserved to be treated like an absolute queen. Remus tried to wipe all such thoughts from his mind, but her distinctive scent and the feel of her arm brushing against his.

Getting to sleep that night was difficult. He asked Sirius to help Lyric with Transfiguration, which Sirius eagerly agreed to, and then Remus dropped onto his own bed, staring up at the ceiling, almost able to feel her skin on his, almost able to smell her in the air, although he knew it was all in his mind.

Making sure that the other boys were asleep, Remus closed the curtains around him, put up a silencing charm, and began to engage in an activity that he usually refrained from: wanking. There was no use. He had resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to get any relief for quite a while otherwise, even if he did things right. After all, Lyric was a lady.

But that didn't mean she had to be in his mind.

When he freed himself from the restraining cloth, he was already incredibly hard, and he knew he had been for quite a while. He was almost ashamed of how quickly he came, or he would have been if he hadn't been basking in his fantasy of taking her on the long table in the main section of the library late at night…

Remus had seldom felt so confident as he did the following morning, dressing and getting ready for his day. The next day, he would be leading her over to Hogsmeade, and there would be time for nerves then. Today, he was walking on air on the memory of the night before and the hopes of days to come.

At breakfast, Remus settled down between Peter and Sirius, buttering some toast and smiling broadly.

"Good rounds last night?" Sirius said with a smirk, but Remus couldn't be bothered to be upset with him. At least, in that moment he couldn't be bothered.

Then Lyric walked up and sat down across from them.

"Hi," she said brightly, causing Remus's heart to pound furiously. "You didn't tell me where and when you wanted to meet tomorrow…"

"Oh, yeah," Remus said, pouring pumpkin juice. "Third floor by that statue of the hump-backed witch. Little Marauder secret."

Sirius gave Remus a proud sort of smile, something like Remus suspected an older brother would have given. Lyric's grin widened excitedly.

"I'm glad I rank so high! That's so incredible, Marauder secrets already!"

"Of course," Remus said. "Oh, and you know Sirius, of course. He's agreed to help you with this unit of Transfiguration."

"Really?" she sighed. "Oh, that's great of you, thank you! I'm not typically so hopeless, but I've just got no idea where to look."

Sirius gave her a winning smile, one he reserved for the prettiest girls, and said, "I suppose most people won't know what to do. Don't worry, though, this happens to be something I'm very well versed in."

"Why is that?" she asked, leaning toward him a little bit, obviously without thinking about it. Remus started to worry. Sirius was flirting with Lyric, probably without even meaning to, and Lyric was responding, obviously without knowing she was. What if his best friend accidentally stole the girl of his dreams right out from under his nose?

Suddenly all his confidence had melted completely away. There was obvious chemistry between those two, and he had unwittingly put them together in the perfect opportunity to spend more time together. How could he have been so naïve?

"If I told you," Sirius said with a little smirk, "I'd have to kill you."

The wink sealed it. All Remus wanted to do was punch Sirius in the face, no matter that Lyric was chuckling happily. She was more than allowed to be happy, but not with Sirius! Not with that womanizing piece of scum, best friend or no.

"Excuse me," he said, forcing a smile on his face and picking up his toast, "I just realized I've forgotten something. I'll see you around."

She smiled and waved at him, which softened his anger, but only barely, as he shoved his toast in his mouth and stalked away.

Lyric was an angel, a goddess, and despite all of the things Remus had just thought about him in anger, Sirius was pretty much the most eligible guy their age. He was well bred, charming, from an incredibly solid family line, and so good looking it shouldn't be legal. Remus was an average boy who was average looking, but scars all over… he was sickly, he was shy, he was a half-blood, half-breed nobody. Yes, Lyric found the dark mystery of his being a werewolf attractive, but Sirius had demons of his own that she would find just as impressive and dramatic. In fact, Sirius had scars of his own, but he was able to keep them better hidden. His good looks had been important to his family.

In fact, Sirius's story was something Lyric would find incredibly attractive. How could Remus possibly compete? Sirius knew everything to say, everything to do… Remus had to ask for advice to even know how to treat her to a decent date. She deserved someone better. Maybe… maybe he would have to wait and see.

He wanted her. It was a fact, a plain and simple fact that was never going to change. Remus Lupin wanted Lyric Swanson more than he wanted his next breath, but he wanted her to be happy, as well. He would go on the date. He would continue on as if he never noticed the spark that had been so obvious between the girl of his dreams and Sirius, because it was the only way to hold onto the hope that she could be his. But he made a decision as he paced the halls of Hogwarts.

Should Lyric choose Sirius, Remus would not stand in their way. He would probably never speak to Sirius again… that sort of betrayal would be beyond forgiveness, and Remus knew the pain of watching them together would hurt too much, but if Sirius was what made the angel of his dreams happy, he would let her go, even if it killed him.

After all, he had been fooling himself to believe that she could ever love someone like him, someone unable to give her everything she deserved. Sirius could do that for her.

But if Sirius ever hurt her, Remus would kill him. Plain and simple, he would rip out his heart and feed it to him, watch him bleed out. Remus had never been a very brutal person, but for this, it was worth it.

By the time classes had begun, Remus had collected himself and nobody seemed to notice that he was at all out of sorts. Even Sirius seemed absolutely clueless still of the effect of his unintentional display at breakfast. James did ask Remus at lunch if he was feeling okay, but Remus was able to brush it off, saying he hadn't slept well the night before. None of the boys suspected a thing about that. He often had trouble sleeping after patrol with Lyric, or James would wake him in the middle of the night to keep him from waking Sirius.

But all day long, Remus watched Sirius's gaze, wondering when it would fall on the beautiful Lyric Swanson, feeling as if there was a timer ticking away in his brain, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **_**night014**_**, who added it to their favorites! Thanks so much for your support! Now, the question is, is Remus paranoid, or is something brewing beneath the surface that others are as of yet unaware? Or are they unaware? Hmmm… You'll have to wait and see! Date's next chapter, hope you all enjoy!**

**-J**


	6. First Date

Lyric woke up on Saturday feeling more excited than ever before. Things had been going well with Remus, so well that she had incredibly high hopes for this first technical "date". But what to wear?

After combing her closet, she threw on a purple sweater and a checked blue circle skirt with a belt. The skirt was a little shorter than her school uniform skirt, coming up halfway down her thighs, leaving a little less to the imagination than usual. She tossed her hair up in a ponytail, dabbed on some lip gloss, and rushed to the third floor, where Remus was already waiting for her, fidgeting nervously. He was so cute when he fidgeted.

"Hi," she said breathlessly, causing him to jump with surprise at her sudden appearance. "So… where do we go?"

"Ah, right," he said, looking both ways around them before taking out his wand. She frowned a little, wondering what he was going to do, but then he tapped the hump of the one-eyed witch and said, "_Dissendium_." The hump opened up like a chute, a slide, and her eyes widened as she realized he had just revealed to her one of the secret passages of Hogwarts.

"Where does it lead?" she gasped, as he carefully lowered her down into the statue before following her.

"Honeydukes cellar," he said. "We'll have to be very careful sneaking out of the cellar and back into it when we're done. _Lumos_." He held his wand aloft and offered his hand to her, which Lyric took eagerly. "And off we go!"

Lyric felt her heart fluttering excitedly as Remus wrapped his arm around her when she shivered in the coolness of the tunnel. It was a pleasant change to be with such a gentleman, and even more of a surprise that he was a Marauder. After all, the reputation of that group was wilder than that of the Sex Pistols. Sirius Black alone could give just about any rock star a run for his money, and look incredibly sexy doing it.

But it was hard to think of even Sirius Black with the way Remus's fingers felt on her skin where her sweater had ridden up a little. It was like… like fire on her skin, but freezing at the same time. When they arrived in the cellar of Honeydukes, he helped her up out of the trapdoor and closed it when they heard footsteps. They ducked behind a stack of crates and crouched low, watching someone's feet as they gathered up more stock for the shelves. Lyric tried very hard not to shiver as she felt Remus's arms hold her protectively, his breath hot on the back of her neck. She bit her lip to keep from moaning as she realized he was smelling her hair.

They managed to sneak out into the main part of the shop several minutes later, and he took her hand again, more nervously this time, and walked her around the shop. If there was anything better to bond over than literature, it was chocolate, which she had been pleased to learn that Remus matched her passion for.

"I spend about half my allowance on chocolate," she admitted as they paid for their copious amounts of sweets, and Remus looked so pleased with this knowledge that she knew the date would be great from there.

And it was. They walked along the High Street, explored the shops, and talked about absolutely everything and anything. Lyric had never felt so close to someone so quickly, both emotionally and physically. By the time they found themselves in a booth of the Three Broomsticks with two tankards of butterbeer, they were sitting so close together she had to lift her tankard with her left hand so as not to elbow him when she took a drink.

"I've really been enjoying myself," she said softly, nuzzling her face into his shoulder comfortably, noting that his arm wrapped tightly around her as she did so. "I don't think I've had this much fun in a really long time."

"I'm glad," Remus said with a smile. "I know I've had a great time. You look absolutely beautiful, Lyric."

Lyric couldn't fight the smile that made its way on her lips, cuddling even closer to him. She had never felt as comfortable as she did right then, curled up against Remus, breathing in his spicy scent, basking in the attention he gave her. Lyric, like another person, had an ego, and Remus was certainly good for hers. If there was one thing she knew about Remus in that moment, it was that he adored her, and she loved that about him.

"You smell delicious," she said truthfully, being less than subtle as she inhaled his scent, travelling up to his collarbone, but losing her goal as her mind dizzied.

She wasn't entirely sure what led to what, but it was a matter of moments before his lips timidly found hers. Remus was as gentle as she thought he would be, but she didn't want him to be gentle. Lyric wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and parting her lips, inviting him to be more aggressive. To her surprise and pleasure, he took the invitation well.

His tongue slipped between her lips, exploring her mouth like a hungry man diving into a feast. He tasted divine, the chocolate and butterbeer still on his breath and she moaned into his mouth. He seemed to like that, because he gripped her waist tightly, infusing more passion and desire into the kiss.

Lyric wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, exploring the new territory eagerly and hungrily, but she was certainly disappointed when he pulled back, despite the fact that she was gasping for air and the room was spinning pleasantly.

"Wow," he breathed, gazing at her like a puppy dog. "That was…"

"Amazing," she said with a little smile, placing a soft kiss on his neck. "I'm tired. Do you want to head back?"

"No," he sighed. "But I suppose I ought to."

They carefully snuck back into the Honeydukes cellar, through the cool tunnel back to the school, and into the third floor of the school. He walked her back to the Hufflepuff common room, kissed her with less force but all of the passion of the one they had shared in the Three Broomsticks. It was like the world stopped when their lips met, and she couldn't help but sigh as his arms held her tightly to him.

"Can we do this again?" he pleaded, pulling away and resting his forehead against hers.

"Of course," Lyric chuckled. "Anytime. I've literally had the time of my life."

The way Remus completely lit up warmed her heart, and she smiled back at him, kissing his neck again, softly.

They went their separate ways, with promise to see each other again soon, but they both had work to do. Lyric had a little bit of time before the girls came back from their weekly walk on the grounds before having to tell them about her date. She stretched out on her bed and smiled, remembering the feel of his hands on her skin, his lips on her lips, his arms around her body. All Lyric wanted to do in that moment was to track down Remus, to pull him into the nearest empty room, and to snog him until she passed out from lack of air. Nothing had ever felt so right.

Of course, her moments of solitary bliss, basking in the aftermath of her fabulous date were short-lived, as her roommates returned to the dormitory for a full report.

"So," Ally demanded the moment she sat down on her bed, "tell us everything."

Lyric smiled and shook her head before describing in reasonable detail how he had taken her to Hogsmeade through a secret passage (without telling them where to find it… the Marauders were allowed their secrets, after all), spent the day with her exploring the village anew, and snuggling up in the Three Broomsticks.

"Personally," Krystal said, grinning as the story came to a close, "I'm shocked that Remus Lupin snuck off campus like that. I mean, yeah, he's a Marauder, but that boy is practically a saint! I mean, he's a prefect!"

"So am I," Lyric pointed out casually. "Besides, I'm not so sure that Remus is quite as good a boy as you all accuse him of, under the surface."

Ally's eyes sparkled and she insisted, "Did he feel you up or something?"

"No," Lyric laughed. "No, nothing like that. He was a perfect gentleman… but… I don't know, something in the way he kissed me… he's not a prude or anything. He's a teenage boy, just like any other teenaged boy."

"No," Kallie said thoughtfully. "He's better than them, because he still has the capability to be a gentleman."

"So are you two official?" Krystal insisted snatching some of the chocolate Lyric had made a point of getting the girls while at Honeydukes. "I mean, should we be expecting having a bit less of your time now?"

Lyric would have loved to have said that she and Remus were a couple, that she was no longer the fifth wheel, and that they could all expect to see a lot less of her, but she realized that she and Remus hadn't actually had any sort of discussion about their status. She didn't typically worry about such things, but suddenly she was worried that lack of clarity might cause her to lose Remus, and she did not want to lose someone so absolutely incredible.

"No, we didn't really talk about it," Lyric said nervously. "I suppose we ought to do that."

She felt as though she was walking on egg shells all day after that, anxious to see Remus, but nervous as to what he would say when she let him know what she was thinking, what she wanted… the part about being an official couple, not about the snogging him until passing out, although if the talk went well she might bring that up as well.

By dinner, she had worked up the courage to talk to Remus, but she was there before him. She sat down across from Sirius and he grinned at her.

"Hey, Swanson," he said with his dazzling smile. "What brings you to this part of the Hall?"

She could feel herself blushing. It was unfair, how good looking that boy was. And charming.

"I was looking for Remus actually. Have you seen him?"

"Not since he came back from your date," Sirius said thoughtfully. "He should be along soon, though, stay awhile."

It was hard to say no to an offer like that, so Lyric smiled, nodded, and allowed him to put some shepherd's pie on the plate in front of her.

"So," he said, grinning, still, "when do you want to start working on that essay, Swanson?"

"Erm, whenever you're free, I guess," Lyric said, pouring herself some pumpkin juice. "And call me Lyric."

"Lyric," he repeated, his gray eyes sparkling mischievously. She had no doubt in her mind why girls went weak in the knees by just the sight of him. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," she said eagerly. "I'd just really like to stop losing sleep over this thing. It's driving me up the wall."

Something in the way his eyes flashed at her words made her shift uncomfortably, and not necessarily a bad sort of uncomfortable. How did he do that?

"So did you get the job?" he continued, as if he was just going on with a line of talk that they'd been discussing for hours.

"Erm… Oh, right, commentating. Yeah, I did. I'm really nervous about it, actually. My true test is going to be the Gryffindor versus Slytherin match. That's always exciting. I expect I'll have to brush up on my fouls before the match, eh?"

"Probably," he said with a laugh. "Sometimes I think they make them up, to be perfectly honest."

By the time Remus finally showed up, Sirius and Lyric were laughing and chatting like old friends. She didn't notice, but Remus paused at the sight, worried, but when Lyric noticed him approaching, she waved at him and smiled so brightly that his worries fluttered away instantly. He slid into the seat beside Lyric and she saw him grin even wider as she brushed her fingers across his thigh underneath the table.

"I wanted to talk to you," she said softly. "But I'll let you eat, and then we can go talk somewhere, yes?"

"Of course," he said, piling food on his plate quickly and shoving it in his mouth as if he was truly starving. Sirius gave a bark-like laugh and Lyric chuckled, grabbing a napkin and wiping some potatoes off the corner of Remus's mouth.

"I didn't mean you had to finish instantly," she said with a smile, adoring the way he blushed with embarrassment. "You're allowed to enjoy your dinner."

"Right," he muttered, swallowing slowly before taking a much smaller bite. "What are you guys talking about, then?"

"Quidditch," Sirius said with another knee-weakening grin. "Lyric here knows her game."

Lyric nearly shivered as Sirius's foot accidentally brushed against her leg. At least, she thought it was an accident, but there was really no way of knowing with him.

"Yeah," she said, feeling a bit of crimson on her cheeks. "I know quite a bit. But you're not really a Quidditch person, are you, Remus?"

"No, not really," he admitted, almost sheepishly, although she noticed that he was focusing on eating as quickly as possible, despite her telling him there was no rush. In a way, she thought that was probably a good thing because that way he couldn't notice the fact that Sirius was staring at her rather intensely.

She steered the conversation into more manageable waters, like what everyone did over their summers, although there was admittedly not a lot of ground to cover, but Remus finished his food so quickly that it wasn't really much of an issue.

"Right," she said as he stood abruptly, "well, it was nice talking to you, Sirius. And I'll see you tomorrow, I guess?"

"Yes," Sirius said with a small smirk. "After lunch, in the library, I suppose."

"I'll be there!" she cried, tugging Remus along to an empty classroom across the entrance hall.

"What did you want to talk about?" he said eagerly as she shut the door behind them, turning to him, but before she answered, she placed a firm, bold, quick kiss on his lips and smiled up at him.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I didn't plan doing that, but I couldn't help myself. Erm, I was meaning to ask you… Uh… Well, what are we, exactly?"

Lyric bit her lip as she awaited his response, and he sat down on top of a nearby desk, grinning at her, drumming his fingers absently on the wood.

"Whatever you want to be," he said.

She surprised him by settling on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling nervously at him. She couldn't remember ever being this nervous about anything.

"I'd really like to be yours," she whispered, kissing his neck lightly, just like before, but this time he let out a soft moan and his fingers tightened around her sides, pulling her torso closer to his. For a moment, they just cuddled, sitting together, holding each other, basking in their joint presence. For a moment, that was enough.

But Lyric couldn't wait very long before pressing her lips to his, this time for a long, slow, passionate, demanding sort of kiss, which escalated faster than any of their previous encounters. Now that they both knew they wanted the same thing, it seemed silly to take things slower than was absolutely necessary. The way his lips felt as he trailed hot kisses down her neck was intoxicating, and she arched into him, sighing. She hadn't realized that she was running her fingers through his hair until she gripped it tightly when he shockingly nuzzled her chest with his face through the fabric of her sweater.

"I want so badly," he whispered, "to rip your clothes off and absolutely ravage you right here and now." She shuddered noticeably. "But I know I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. Not now. Not here. Not like this."

Lyric whimpered a little in spite of herself. She had not known how badly she had wanted just that until he'd said the words out loud, but suddenly she couldn't think of anything she desired more.

He grinned a little, placed a gentle finger over her lips and whispered, "No, Lyric, you deserve better than that. I want you, but not in a dusty old classroom."

She was hardly listening, however. She had taken his finger in her mouth and began to suck on it hungrily, loving the way his eyes widened, shocked at her audacity. It was something the other Hufflepuffs all knew about her, the fact that she was fearless if she wasn't in immediate foreseeable danger, and even then, practically fearless.

"If you keep doing that," he muttered, his voice huskier than before, lower, more animalistic, "I might go mad."

She giggled around his finger and continued to suck on it teasingly. He gave a low growl of sorts ripped his finger from her mouth and placed his own mouth firmly on the most sensitive part of her neck, snaking his hands up her sweater and cupping her breasts. The dual sensations elicited a moan from her mouth as he continued to squeeze and massage her breasts while placing hot kisses all over her neck, face, and mouth.

That was the furthest they got that night, but Lyric didn't mind completely. After all, there was a great promise of more to come, and she knew that Remus Lupin wouldn't disappoint. If there was anything he wanted to absolutely not do, it was leave her less than satisfied, and she knew it. Lyric was a girl who got what she wanted, and Remus was it.


	7. Almost Like a Dream

Remus was so high from his encounters throughout the day with Lyric that for the next week, nothing about Sirius's behavior with Lyric or his incredibly long hours spent working on Transfiguration with her could bother Remus. He eventually wrote off their behavior as being two naturally friendly and flirtatious people. Sirius was a loyal friend, as he had proved thoroughly by keeping his hands off Lily, despite her being just the type of girl he liked to conquer. When Sirius said he wouldn't pursue Lyric, Remus believed him. And Lyric… Lyric was a saint, a goddess, perfection. She wouldn't hurt him. She would never cheat on him. She was Kitty, the picture of perfection and purity.

Besides, they spent plenty of time together, whether on patrol, at meals, between classes, on weekends, late at night in abandoned classrooms…

But it wasn't like it sounded. They talked, held hands, kissed, and the occasional snog, but Remus wanted to take things slowly. After all, Lyric deserved the absolute best, and he wasn't ready yet to give it to her. When the time came, it would be perfect. Until then, he was rather enjoying their kissing, snogging, hand-holding, and talking. It was almost too perfect.

Everyone knew they were together, too. Lily Evans had told him that they were the cutest couple she'd ever seen, and Snape had started giving Lyric a bad time for her poor judgment. Remus, late to a study session in the library, overheard such an encounter once.

"You know, Swanson, he's not the sort of thing you'd want to get involved with," Snape drawled. "I'm sure your parents wouldn't approve."

"My parents don't approve of half of what I do," Lyric snorted. "And I think he's exactly the sort of person I want to be involved with, Snape, obviously, or I wouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place."

There was a pause and Remus lingered, peering at them through the books. Snape was in Lyric's face, his eyes flashing with fury.

"You don't know how to take good advice, Swanson. Stay away from Lupin. He's dangerous."

She smiled up at him, unfazed by the bold, sweeping remarks, tapping the table absently with her fingertips.

"Thank you for your input, Snape. I take good advice when I get it. As far as his furry little problem, I know all about that, so you're not telling me anything I wasn't already aware of. I think he's perfect, and I think you're getting on my nerves, so I suggest you clear out before I scream and tell Madam Pince that you're sexually harassing me."

Snape's eyes widened.

"You wouldn't dare."

Lyric smirked, and Remus was taken aback at how much it looked like Sirius's smirk. Snape flinched. He saw the likeness too, it seemed.

"Watch me, _Snivellus_."

Snape scampered off almost immediately, and within a second Lyric was looking back down at her books as if the encounter had never happened and she'd merely been studying as she waited for Remus.

He slid into the seat beside her, kissing her on the forehead and snaking and arm around her waist.

"I saw," he muttered, picking up a quill and opening their Defense book.

"You saw me being sexually harassed?" she said casually, not looking up at him.

"Wha- no," he snapped quickly. "You were kidding about that, weren't you?"

"Ah, so you came after Snape's cronies left, then," she smirked. "Mulciber thought it would be cute to feel me up in the library. I don't think he thought it was so cute when I burned his hand."

For a moment, Remus saw red and wanted to strangle Mulciber and Snape with his bare hands, but Sirius's signature smirk looked rather adorable on Lyric's lips, and he found it incredibly distracting from his anger. Without realizing it he licked his lips, leaned in, and pressed his lips to hers, sucking lightly on her bottom lip and wondering how it was possible for one human being to be so incredibly enticing. She moaned softly against his lips, her fingers gripping his hair as he began to explore her mouth once more, deepening the kiss and tasting her. He knew they weren't going to get very much studying done.

Of course, Lyric was a responsible girl and after several minutes (fifteen or so, he thought), of slow, passionate snogging, she kissed his neck gently and insisted that they actually get a bit of work done. They actually managed to accomplish quite a lot, but they were both great students and knew how to make the most of their time.

"Do we have patrol tonight?" he whispered in her ear toward the end of their session, finding himself too distracted by her chewing on her lip to continue to focus on homework.

"Mmhmm," she moaned as his tongue began to trace the shell of her ear slowly. "Remus…"

"Shh," he whispered. "You're distracting, love. I can't help myself."

"We need to wrap it up anyway," she muttered, turning to him with sad eyes. "I've got to meet with Ally, help her with Charms."

Remus frowned.

"How's that going?"

Lyric snorted. They both knew that if Ally passed Charms, it would be a miracle. Then again, Ally passing anything was a miracle. She was a very sweet girl, but smart she wasn't.

"Anyway," he muttered against her neck as he placed a line of open-mouthed kisses against her skin, "I've got a plan for tonight. Don't be late, love, and meet on the opposite end of the corridor from usual."

"Away from the prefect's bath?" she gasped as he nibbled her skin lightly.

"Yes," he hissed against her skin. "We'll check there last."

She gave him another one of Sirius's signature smirks, and the resemblance to Sirius's smirk was beginning to bother Remus less as he saw her do it more and more. After all, the expression suited her, and it certainly looked attractive on her gorgeous lips… Not that she needed more ways to draw him in.

Remus wanted everything to be perfect. He had actually started keeping a notebook of advice that Sirius tossed at him from time to time, and Remus had been reading each night before bed to ensure maximum retention. Lyric deserved the absolute best.

The hour before patrol, Remus went to the prefect's bath to set everything up. It had to be perfect. By the time he met Lyric on the other end of the corridor, his hands were shaking and his stomach was squirming anxiously. Tonight was the night.

Lyric was wearing her school uniform, of course, and he felt himself wanting to kiss her leg from the foot up, to explore her thigh with his tongue, and he didn't bother hiding his shudder at the thought. She smiled at him, took his hand, and they patrolled the area, although they went through quicker than usual. She tried to pull him into an empty classroom on the way through patrol, but Remus remained firm, kissing her nose and saying, "Just be patient, love."

With a nervous grin, he led her into the prefect's bath and she gasped, eyes wide, grinning. He had placed several dozen candles around the large room, including around a bunch of conjured blankets and pillows in the corner, away from the water. Speaking of the water, he turned only one of the scented faucets, and a scent of vanilla filled the room. She smiled at him.

He pulled off his own robes as she began unbuttoning her shirt. He peeled her robe off her shoulders and she pulled the shirt off after it. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her standing there in a blue bra with black lace. While Remus was still taking in the sight, she untucked his shirt and began nimbly unbuttoning it. He shrugged it off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor as she unhooked her skirt, unzipped it, and let it pool around her feet. She stepped out of it and reached for his belt as he bit his lip, staring at her in nothing more than a bra and knickers… black lace knickers…

Despite the fact that he wanted to move things along at just the right speed, according to his plan, Remus couldn't help himself. As soon as she tossed his belt aside he kissed her hungrily. Thankfully, the kiss didn't stop Lyric's hands as she ran her nails down his front, unbuttoned his trousers, and let them drop to the floor. As he stepped out of them, he looked at the ground, catching his breath and refocusing his mind, but that was a waste, he realized, as he looked back up and saw that she had already removed her bra and was working off her knickers. His heart pounded as she slipped out of her shoes and made her way closer, wearing absolutely nothing but her skin.

Before he knew what had happened, she was on her knees, undoing his shoes.

Shoes. He knew he forgot something important. Shoes make things awkward.

But somehow, Lyric taking off his shoes was anything but awkward. She took a lot care to untie and slip off both shoes and socks before smiling up at him, hooking his boxers with her thumbs and pulling them down his legs. She didn't seem put off by the fact that he was already incredibly hard, and he moaned as she kissed her way slowly up his body to his lips. He almost abandoned the plan and dragged her over to the blankets that moment, but he pulled away from the kiss and took a deep breath.

"Come on, love," he whispered, kissing her cheek softly and leading her over to the bath. He climbed into the water, settling onto the underwater ledge before helping her climb in and settle on his lap. He kissed her shoulder and said, "Look to your left."

Lyric turned and gasped. Rested beside the water was a book, a copy of _Anna Karenina_. She snatched it up, flipped through the pages, and read aloud for him quickly her favorite chapter.

"'When they rose from table, Levin would have liked to follow Kitty into the drawing room; but he was afraid she might dislike this, as too obviously paying her attention. He remained in the little ring of men, taking part in the general conversation, and without looking at Kitty, he was aware of her movements, her looks, and the place where she was in the drawing room.'"

Remus rested his chin on her bare shoulder keeping himself from running his lips along her bare skin. He could hardly believe that he was really sitting in the warm prefect's bath, his arms around her naked body, candlelight all around and a promise of a long, close night. The sound of her voice reading the words of her favorite novel was a surreal experience.

"'…Levin got up and escorted Kitty to the door. In their conversation everything had been said; it had been said that she loved him, and that she would tell her father and mother that he would come tomorrow morning.'"

She turned the page to start the next chapter, but Remus, watching her face intently, took the book from her hands, set it on the dry area beside them, and pressed his lips to hers to stop her protest. Lyric stiffened at first, but it only took a moment before she moaned in his mouth, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Remus nearly lost his head, unsure of exactly what to do. She had effectively offered him a free pass, not setting any rules, any boundaries… And he wanted to taste every inch of her, feel every part of her skin, explore her whole experience. His hands had been on her waist, but they had gotten ahead of him, he realized, when he felt them ghost over her breasts. Lyric didn't seem to mind, though, so he began to explore the new territory, completely in awe of the sensation and the sounds she made as he did so.

He knew he wanted more, wanted better access to her, so he scooped her up carefully and made his way out of the water, no longer nervous about being so exposed to Lyric as he carried her to the blankets he had set up and laid her down gently. Before she had a chance to do anything, he began kissing every available inch of her skin. The scent of the vanilla water on her skin was intoxicating.

She clutched his hair firmly as he continued to explore her wonderful breasts, taking one in his mouth and massaging the other gentle with his fingertips. The sounds she made were driving him mad, and he wanted to take her then and there, but he remembered Sirius's advice: Don't rush. Take care of her and she'll take care of you. And Remus wanted nothing more than to take care of her.

When Lyric was writhing beneath him, gasping for breath, Remus made his way down her torso and followed Sirius's instructions to the mystical area between her legs. It was enticing, to say the least, the sound she made when he kissed her there, licked her tentatively, and began exploring the area generally with his mouth.

He felt her writhe more and more, arching to meet his mouth more easily, and when she finally cried his name, he knew she had climax, recognizing her behavior from Sirius's description of female behaviors in sexual actions (he described everything, and Remus finally appreciated the thoroughness of detail). Remus began to lap her up a bit more before licking his way back up to her chest, enjoying her gorgeous breasts until she was once more squirming and sighing beneath him.

He bit his lip, positioned himself, and entered her. He froze when he saw her grimace and heard her whimper in pain, but at the same time he was very aware of how tight and warm she was around him, how good it felt.

"Move," she finally moaned, and he obliged, beginning slowly and building up a steady, nearly agonizing pace. She arched up into him, sighing and groaning, and he couldn't help but moan her name. She arched into him, wrapping her legs around his waist and moving with him, increasing the friction. He began moving faster and deeper until he lost all control.

"Lyric," he gasped, "I'm not going to last."

"Remus," she gasped, and she unraveled once more, screaming and digging her nails into his shoulder. That set him off, exploding deep within her, crying out before biting down on her shoulder, panting and gasping frantically.

"Oh, Remus," she sighed, lifting his face to kiss him once more, more passion in the kiss than he had ever put in it. They increased the heat of the kiss, battling for dominance and each moaning and sighing intermittently into each other's mouths.

They kissed and cuddled for hours, curling up and wrapping up together in the blankets, talking about anything and everything, and in those moments Remus was sure that Lyric was an angel. They had a second go, and then a third, and as always, he found himself not wanting to leave her toward the end of the night. He thought maybe, if he wore her out enough, Lyric would forget about returning back to the dormitories and he wouldn't have to see her dress or walk away from him until the morning. He wanted so badly to fall asleep with her curled up in his arms. Still, Lyric was insistent that she make it back, so he kissed her up and down her body once more before allowing her to dress and pulling on his own robes, watching her the whole time.

It was almost painful, watching her cover up her beautiful body, but he knew that if he played his cards right he'd be seeing it again soon, and that thought gave him both hope and an incredibly goofy grin plastered across his face as she laced her fingers in his and led him back out of the prefect's bath.

Sirius didn't ask questions when Remus got in late, his hair still damp from the dip in the bath, smelling strongly of vanilla and sex, and Remus was glad. He knew his friend knew exactly what he had been up to when patrol was done. It was difficult to tell in the moonlight, but Remus thought he saw Sirius smirk slightly on his arrival.

The strange thing was, although Remus had been sure that Sirius would tease him even more mercilessly for the ever-deepening relationship with Lyric, all teasing had pretty much ceased not long after the couple became official. Sirius and Remus saw less of each other, which Remus had taken to accounting for the lack of expected teasing, but late night arrivals were no longer a forum for Sirius to point out how smitten Remus was with Lyric, or to talk about Lyric and her many impressive physical qualities.

Obviously, Remus was dating her now, so the smitten behavior was not news or significant in any sort of unusual way. Remus supposed the teasing in that regard had rather lost its luster. The other thing was that Sirius was actually spending much more time with Lyric in a one-on-one basis, for tutoring, so Remus guessed that if Sirius wanted to marvel at her many redeeming physical qualities he was either doing so silently in her presence or doing so less-than-silently in her presence. With Sirius, either was equally possible.

So the smirk? What was the purpose of that smirk? The only explanation Remus could think of as he drifted off toward his dreams of Lyric and their recent union, was that Sirius knew that Remus and Lyric had slept together, knew that Remus had taken his advice on sex to heart, and felt proud of himself as the guru he had self-proclaimed to be.

But it didn't matter anymore. The images of Lyric were swimming rapidly thorough Remus's brain, and Sirius and his strange, partially explicable behavior was the last thing that mattered.

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **_**rainbowpop**_**, whose enthusiasm and good-natured pestering sped along this chapter considerably. I could have and should have reread my biology chapter before class instead, but the message from her sealed the deal and the chapter just sort of finished of its own accord. Enjoy! Read and review. Check out the tumblr for this story at lyricbraelynswansonlupin dot tumblr dot com and look at my pretty pictures and quotes and the like. THIS IS BASED STRONGLY ON ANNA KARENINA, if you hadn't noticed that yet, so if you've got time to kill and are looking for an actual novel to read, I recommend it profusely. Or watch a film version if you just want to be quickly familiarized with the story. Everything will be more rewarding if you know this story! (And not Anna's story, but Levin and Kitty.)**


	8. The Game

**A/N: Remember, guys, LYRIC IS HUMAN. Remus idolizes her, but as Sirius reminds him in the prequel, she has her flaws and those are going to come into play in a big way for quite a while in the very near future. In fact, Lyric is basically a carbon copy of an actual person, and careful readers of my works might be able to recognize things about her that line up with another character or two of mine. Gold star if you figure out who (Character or actual person), and you'll get the next chapter dedicated to you! Cheers!**

**-J**

Things with Remus were perfect. Lyric found herself more and more attached to him, wanting to spend more time with him, be closer to him. She knew that his being a werewolf would complicate things, but in her mind she was already planning a future: three kids, a modest but nice house in the country, and falling asleep all but twelve nights a year wrapped up in Remus's arms, breathing in his luscious scent and basking in his warmth.

But there were plenty of things to do before she could ever get to that point. For starters, she had to pass Transfiguration. That meant spending a considerable amount of time hidden away in the library with Sirius Black. The boy was a wealth of knowledge in the subject, when he could think about when he did instinctively and why it worked, and he was certainly fun to be around. Not once did he ever shove a book in her face or belittle her for needing more help with something. If anything, he seemed to like their study sessions best when they were spending more time at it.

It was impossible not to notice the fact that he was attractive. He was Sirius Black, for Merlin's sake. The boy was like sex on a stick. But she also couldn't help but notice the way he watched her, similar but different to the way Remus watched her. His eyes would appraise her face when they first greeted each other, lingering just a bit on her lips, but not spending as long on her eyes as Remus did. Then, she would feel his eyes grazing her legs and butt as he followed her to their spot in the back of the library. Finally, she would contending with his gaze finding multiple and varied angles at which to view her chest throughout the study session.

Lyric, as inexperienced as she was, had never been prudish, in the strictest sense of the word. She had actually always gotten quite a rush at the realization that guys were looking at her, especially attractive ones like Sirius. She was a bit vain. Scratch that; she was incredibly vain. She knew she was smart, pretty, talented, and she liked it when people said such things about her, particularly with superlative statements. Granted, outside of Hufflepuff she didn't always get that attention she craved. After all, being smarter than a Ravenclaw was difficult, and nearly everyone at Hogwarts was in agreement that Lily Evans was a tough act to beat as far as looks, and talent… Well, Lyric was usually top notch in that department, except for a few things, like Transfiguration, for the females, at the very least. Beating James Potter and Sirius Black for talent was like asking for powers to rival Albus Dumbledore. It was asinine.

Still, Lyric basked in the newfound attention she was getting not only from Remus, but also from Sirius, despite the fact that little warning bells in the back of her mind were telling her that the attention from Sirius was probably not something to welcome.

She could have blamed her vanity on a lot of things. Her mother had been the Lily Evans of Hogwarts in her day, Head Girl, loved by all, gorgeous and talented, and even played Quidditch for Gryffindor for a while. Living up to that sort of standard would have been exhausting for most people, but for Lyric it was almost a game, being as good as or better than her mother had been at whatever she did, and often succeeding, despite the fact that she would not be Head Girl and she was certainly not loved by anywhere near all. Her mother, after all, had managed to charm even the Slytherins to her ideas.

Her father had not been nearly as charming, but he had been the best Quidditch player Hogwarts had seen until the whirlwind that was James Potter came into the picture, so people skills were less important for him. He was bright, but lazy, much like James Potter, actually. She hadn't often considered it, but the way her own parents had paralleled Lily and James made her absolutely sure that James was right: they were meant for each other, even if Lily didn't see it yet.

But on top of that, her father wasn't very good at communicating things, which was something James Potter had never had a problem with. Despite the fact that Lyric knew she was gorgeous, she had never been told by her father that she was. He never even said cute, pretty, or anything like that. Despite the various functions and events she had gone to all dressed up, that time when fathers were supposed to tell their daughters how special they were and how good looking they were, she'd never heard it.

So she could blame her craving attention on either the monster her mother had created with her perfectionism, or the lack of attention in any physical sense from her father… not in a dirty way. Just… Well, you get it.

Lately, it seemed she had no shortage of physical attention. Not many boys were bold or stupid enough to hit on a girl who was obviously attached to a Marauder, but there was the occasional Slytherin sleazy and obnoxious enough to think it a good idea, definitely trying to get in her good graces before she commentated for the Gryffindor v. Slytherin Quidditch match. On top of that, of course, she had Remus… and Sirius's lingering eyes. It wasn't so bad, she thought, and there were plenty of girls who would have killed to be in her position.

Krystal, on the other hand, was very critical of Lyric's position… namely the amount of time Lyric was spending with one Sirius Black.

"I just don't like the way he looks at you," Krystal was saying, carefully dabbing on lipstick. "That's not the way any decent guy looks at his best friend's girlfriend. But then, we knew Sirius wasn't the definition of decent…"

"Krystal, lay off," Martha snapped. "You're just jealous because you've only got two classes and you're probably going to fail both of them while Lyric's off being brilliant and getting attention from brilliant, attractive men that you'd never have a prayer with."

Ah, yes, and Lyric often forgot about that tension between Krystal and Martha. Ally and Kallie were very likable people, although Ally drove Kallie up the wall sometimes, but nobody ever had a serious problem with either one of them. Krystal and Martha, on the other hand, were more outspoken, and very different from each other, which was a recipe for disaster.

"Can we just calm down, please?" Kallie moaned, sensing the impending catfight, something that was fairly regular between those two, if allowed to escalate. Their roommates had tried to keep them calm, and they hadn't had a big explosion since third year, but that simply meant they were long overdue for hashing out their grievances.

Lyric knew Krystal was right. When it came to moral issues, Krystal was always right. But Lyric liked what Martha had to say about the matter far more than what Krystal had to say, and so she found herself willfully ignoring Krystal's rightness for the sake of her own happiness. The problem was, ignoring Krystal's almost-advice wasn't making Lyric any happier and she knew it, it was making her more conflicted and confused.

If Krystal was right, and she often was, where Black was concerned, then Lyric would have to make some very real choices in the very near future, choices that might hurt someone if she didn't handle them delicately, and delicate was something Lyric was never very good at. She had never been able to properly understand why beating around the bush was ever a good option, but now beating around the bush seemed the only way to survive, should the "worst" happen.

But would Sirius approaching her be so bad? Didn't she want, somewhere in the back of her mind, for him to lean across the table and kiss her? Didn't she wonder what it would feel like for his strong hands to feather along her skin, exploring her body, the way Remus's did in their long, secret nights together after patrols? Was it so wrong to wonder, to ache? She was only human, after all.

But Remus looked at her as more than a human. His expectations were beyond that which even she was capable of, and she felt as though she ought to at least try to match what he expected of her. Humans strove for perfection all the time. They all failed, of course, but the ones who really strove were often closer to perfection than the average human… Was it enough to be more perfect by comparison? Could she even hold herself to something like that? Lyric had a habit of attempting to improve herself with regularity, but it never lasted long. Even for Remus, she wasn't sure she could make herself strive for perfection with any real effort.

She did try to be good, though, for the time being. Sirius's gaze was flattering, and she couldn't help that she blushed. She only prayed that the heat in her cheeks wasn't completely obvious to Sirius, although she was sure that it was. He knew things, Sirius. He was more knowledgeable about females than anyone she'd ever met, including most females. He knew exactly how his attention was affecting her, and he kept on at it. Clearly he was enjoying the results, whether for some sick sort of entertainment or the desire she thought she saw in his eyes when he was struggling to maintain passivity in his features.

Late at night, when she was done with Remus, staring up at the ceiling, she would admit to herself that the way he looked at her drove her absolutely mad with feelings she'd never felt before, but she knew enough about the stories her mother had told her to know that the feelings she was feeling with Sirius weren't worth risking the beautiful, blossoming romance she had with Remus.

But Lyric wasn't very good at doing what she ought to do.

She kept letting Sirius get closer, stroking her ego just a bit more, staring at her just a bit longer, leaning just a little further over the table as he talked to her. She let him follow more closely behind her as they walked, sometimes so close that she could feel his breath on the back of her neck, hot and heavy, as if he was as affected as she by his closeness. Lyric understood that Sirius was very good at what he did, leading girls in for the night and letting them go after, but he wasn't moving at his usual pace. What did that mean? Was he not actually going to attempt to have her, because of Remus, or for some other reason? Was he biding his time, dragging it out because of his conscience, or because there was something different about her? Other than being his friend's girlfriend, of course.

And really, she knew she shouldn't even be asking herself such questions, she shouldn't be entertaining such ideas, because she shouldn't be letting him get anywhere near as close as he was, but Lyric's vanity disregarded all such moral knowledge. He was attractive. He found her attractive. She found his finding her attractive irresistible. She knew if he made a move, she wouldn't likely push him away right off.

Was that bad? Of course it was bad. But Lyric couldn't bring herself to care.

So she continued on with her life as if none of it was happening, as if Remus wasn't intentionally not seeing Sirius's behavior, as if Sirius's behavior didn't exist… anything to keep things in the balance they were in. Lyric avoided questions from everyone about her relationships, even Kallie. For the first time, she truly closed herself off to the world. For the first time, she was hiding.

She hid from her guilt, from her own morality, knowing that eventually everything would fall on her at once and she wouldn't be able to claim ignorance, naivety. She knew very well what Sirius wanted, but hoped he wouldn't act… or thought she ought to hope he wouldn't, at the very least. Lyric told herself she wasn't encouraging him or pursuing him, but in the pit of her stomach she was well aware that she was allowing him to believe that he was permitted to push the envelope, to stare a little longer and move a little closer.

"So, Animagi," Lyric said one night, trying to ignore the fact that he was opening staring at her chest. She wasn't wearing anything unusual, just her uniform shirt, but for some reason he had dropped all pretext of hiding his gaze. In fact, he had stopped listening to her words, and his eyes had a bit of a predatory sharpness to them as they met hers, dark and hungry. Even closing in on a full moon, Remus had never looked at her like that before. She tried to suppress the shudder that overtook her body, but she knew he saw it.

"Sirius?" she said softly as he stood, moving around the table, and sitting down beside her, his eyes not leaving hers for a moment. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

"Do you love him, Lyric?" Sirius whispered, his voice husky and making her whole body tingle pleasantly.

"What?"

"Do you love him?"

For the life of her, Lyric couldn't remember who the "him" Sirius was referring to ought to be; her brain had become mush the moment she inhaled his incredible scent. She just stared dumbly up at him, her mouth working over his words soundlessly, looking something like a fish.

"You shouldn't have to think about that, sweetheart," he breathed. "You either love Remus or you don't."

"I do," she said, knowing that's what she ought to say, what she would say in any other situation, but for some reason the words felt foreign and unsure in her mouth, and sounded even more so when they found their way out of her mouth. The look in Sirius's eyes that was so entrancing clearly wasn't having any of that.

"I don't believe you," he muttered, leaning in close to her neck and inhaling her quite obviously. It was something Remus did as well, something she had attributed to the wolf, but maybe that had been an incorrect assumption. There was something incredibly erotic about it, though, no matter which of them was doing it and for why.

But she did love Remus, and she knew it. Still, her love for Remus didn't diminish how natural Sirius felt… She wasn't sure if his lips had purposefully grazed her skin or not, but his touch left fire behind it and she nearly sighed at the sensation. It was completely unfair. One person was not supposed to feel so incredibly enticing.

His gray eyes pierced her icy blue and he whispered, "If you don't love him, don't mess around, beautiful. Remus doesn't play the game. He's bound to get hurt."

The game? Lyric didn't play the game anymore, either. She had, when she was younger. She'd actually stolen Kallie's boyfriend right from under her nose and handed him over to Ally. When things had fizzled between Davey and Ally, she'd ended up with him herself. And then when she was bored of him, she passed him off to Krystal. Oh, yes, she used to play the game, but she didn't need to anymore. She'd found Remus.

So why had her heart rate quickened so much at the mention of the game?

Lyric tried to tell herself that Sirius was messing with her head, trying to make her doubt her relationship with Remus, but she knew deep down that she missed the game, just a little bit. Just as Sirius came from a long line of Slytherins, so had two of Lyric's grandparents. There was a much greater mixture in her own family, but she had plenty of Slytherin blood, and she did get quite a thrill and using people.

But Sirius was very good at using people… probably the best. That should have made her shy away, made her cling to Remus even harder, but the challenge was undeniable, and Sirius seemed to know she wouldn't be able to resist. Despite her better judgment, she leaned forward so that her lips very nearly touched his, hovered for a moment, and whispered, "Don't think so highly of yourself, Black," before pulling away, gathering up her things and marching right out of the library. Before she had left, though, she had seen the ever-so-slight smirk forming on his lips. He knew he'd hooked her.

She wanted to smack her head against the stone wall. She ought to have felt dirty, horrified, guilty… but instead she felt energized, excited, and anxious, counting in her mind all the times she would be Sirius, especially when she would be seeing him without Remus around.

It wasn't that she didn't love Remus. She did. She loved him more than she ever thought possible. But there was a part of her, that little snippet that had made the Sorting Hat hesitate quite a while before putting her in Hufflepuff that couldn't resist a good game, a proper challenge, and Sirius was both of those things personified.

Merlin, help her.


	9. Oh, What A Mess We've Made of Love

Remus was beginning to be horribly paranoid. Things with Lyric when he was with Lyric were as perfect as ever, but things with Lyric when he wasn't with Lyric were terrible. He was suspicious, territorial, and any time one of his friends even mentioned her, he would almost rip their head off.

"You need to calm down, Moony," Sirius said casually one day. "If you don't give the girl a little bit of breathing room she's going to run around on you just to get some air."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Remus had snapped back.

Sirius had brushed it off on the full moon, thankfully, but sometimes Remus really wondered if Sirius didn't actually like the idea of Lyric looking for greener pastures. He tried to brush off his paranoia as the full moon, since none of her behavior ever seemed to suggest unfaithfulness, but he couldn't help but wonder.

One night, they were sitting alone in a classroom on the sixth floor after patrol, curled up. He buried his face in her hair, but grimaced.

"You smell like Sirius," he spat.

"So?" she muttered, chuckling a little. "He and I spent several hours working together in the library. I'd be more surprised if I didn't."

Reminding Remus of the hours she had been spending with Sirius was not the way to improve his mood, but he worked very hard to calm himself and overcome his aversion to smelling another male, particularly such a familiar male, all over his girl.

"What were you doing, wrestling?" he said, attempting to be good natured, but the exasperated look she gave him made his attempts to be more understanding seem largely unappreciated.

It went on like that for weeks. At first, Remus attributed the tension to something he was doing wrong. After all, he wasn't the most practiced in relationships. In fact, Sirius liked to tease Remus that he'd never seen a couple smile less when together than Lyric and Remus. Remus tried to ignore him, because everyone else could see that they were smiling on the inside.

But Sirius's taunts, seemingly well-intentioned though they might be, were beginning to get inside of Remus's head. After all, what if he wasn't making her happy? What if she thought she wasn't making him happy? What if…?

It was silly, and he knew it, to second guess something so purely wonderful, but he couldn't help but wonder sometimes.

And Remus tried to go out of his way to make her happier, to remind her how much he loved her, and to tell her every day how incredibly happy she made him. And he saw her smile more, and he couldn't help but smile at the very sight of her smile, at the very thought of it. Perhaps Sirius had been right: perhaps he had been neglecting her needs somehow.

But his world fell apart one day when he went looking for her in the library. She had told him that she and Sirius would be done half an hour earlier and he wanted to make sure they hadn't forgotten about dinner. He wasn't sure where in the library they studied, but he slowly walked from shelf to shelf, trying to find a spot they might be at.

As Remus neared the back corner of the library, he heard small, soft sounds of moaning and sighing, and he hoped he would find them soon so he didn't have to witness whatever was going on in the very back of the library. But they were still nowhere to be found, and his heart nearly stopped when he heard a familiar voice whimper, "Sirius, please."

No.

It couldn't be.

And then, rather than running away like he so wanted to do, Remus found his curiosity, his burning desire to be proved wrong propelling him forward, and he saw something he wished he hadn't: Sirius was holding Lyric, his hands up her shirt and his lips on her neck, and her head was thrown back in ecstasy. Remus had never made her look so.

"Sirius, please, we can't do this," she whimpered. "I love him so much."

And Remus's heart swelled a little bit, despite his disgust in both people before him.

"You can't tell me you haven't been thinking of this, Lyric," Sirius whispered. "I know you're all I think about anymore. He would never have to know."

"He would know," she gasped as Sirius nibbled lightly on her neck, clearly being careful not to leave a mark. "He – he can s-s-smell you on me when… oh, bloody Merlin."

Remus couldn't stay. If he stayed, he would do something he would regret later. He left as quickly and silently as possible, the last thing he saw before turning away was Sirius pressing his lips to Lyric's, and Lyric kissing him vigorously back.

He walked like an empty shell back to his bed, not bothering with dinner, not having the energy to study or socialize, and simply lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering why the sky hadn't fallen, because his whole life, his whole world, was falling apart, so why hadn't the physical manifestation of that begun yet?

And then he realized that he was a monster, and he hadn't ever deserved her, and that Sirius had done Lyric a favor, saving her from him, giving her the human and safe sort of attention she deserved. She might think she didn't want a happy ending, but it was sure to look different to her eventually. Even the most airy, artistic individuals became more practical as life went on, and war accelerated life for everyone.

She might not realize it, or maybe she finally had, but Sirius was what she wanted, what she really needed. He had the tragic backstory without the danger, the ability to worship her without hurting her, and the ability to be what she needed when she calmed down a bit and realized she wanted something more normal. The only problem was the fact that Sirius fancied himself a heartbreaker, and Remus couldn't have that.

When Sirius came in after dinner, he'd at least had the decency to straighten himself out and look like he hadn't just thoroughly snogged (and maybe even shagged) the girlfriend of one of his best mates in the library.

"All right there, Moony?" Sirius said, frowning down at Remus, who was still staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Be honest," Remus said, "do you like Lyric?"

Sirius frowned a little bit.

"Look, Moony, we've already had this talk and I said I would–"

"Just answer the question."

Sirius blinked.

"I'm not going to lie," Sirius said, although he had been lying through his teeth earlier, and Remus knew it. "She's an amazing catch. I don't know how you managed it, to be honest, she's way out of the league of every boy here."

"I know," Remus sighed. "She ought to be yours."

"Don't say that," Sirius snapped quickly. "Don't you dare say that. That girl is crazy about you. Don't you dare give that up."

Remus could have hit him. He wanted to so badly, but it wouldn't have solved anything, and it probably would have made him feel any better.

"No," Remus said, shaking his head. "I can't do this."

Without explanation, Remus jumped to his feet and headed down to the common room, out through the portrait hole, and to the nearest empty classroom he could find, and he paced the floor vigorously.

Sirius was denying it. Sirius was kissing and doing Merlin knows what else to Lyric and then pretending it wasn't happening when Remus was around. Who else knew? Had James figured it out?

James.

Sirius had sworn to keep his hands off Lily as well. But had he? He was, after all, an artist at seducing whoever his sights fell on. Had he managed to seduce Lily Evans as well? Remus would never have thought Lily would succumb to such things, but then, he never would have guessed it of Lyric, either.

Almost like he knew what Remus was thinking about, James came in, frowning, the Marauder's Map in his hands.

"Sirius said you were acting odd and that you stormed off. What's wrong? Furry little problem?"

Oh, in a way, Remus supposed it probably was. Lyric couldn't help but fall for someone who wasn't a horrific beast once a month. But in essence…

"No."

James frowned.

"What's up, then?" he asked, sitting on a desk while Remus continued pacing, although less frantically than before.

"James, I – I saw Sirius with… with a girl in the library."

James raised his eyebrows.

"Okay. Well, I'm sure that wasn't particularly pleasant, but it's not like it's nothing you've ever seen before…"

"No," Remus snapped. "The g-girl was… it was Lyric."

James's jaw dropped and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Remus, are you sure?" he said softly, after a few moments of taking in this news. "I mean, he said he wouldn't… are you sure it's not just someone who looked like her or sounded like her or, I don't know… looked and sounded like her?"

Remus growled.

"It was her, okay? I know you don't want to believe it. I don't – I don't want to believe it either. But… pretending it's anything other than what it was isn't going to do anybody any favors, and I figured you ought to know, since he made you the same promises he made me. I – I don't think he would have done with Lily but… well, you know Sirius. He can't really say no to a challenge."

James shook his head, looking down at the floor determinedly, clearly trying to wrap his brain around the possibilities.

"I don't think it happened," James finally said firmly. But then his hazel eyes met Remus's amber eyes and he said sadly, "What are you going to do about Lyric?"

Although he had been turning over that very question ever since he saw her lips touch Sirius's, Remus couldn't honestly say that he had an answer to that question. What was he going to do? He still loved her, but could he stay with her, knowing she would be so much happier with Sirius?

"I'm going," he finally said, "to talk to her."

But what he would say, how it would work, how it would end (for it had to end)… Who could say? Certainly Remus dreaded thinking about such things. Perhaps it was better not to dwell on such thoughts before… before he had to.

Although he knew he ought to, Remus did not speak to her right away. She just kissed him so sweetly when she sat down with them at dinner that even James's calculating, knowing glance couldn't spoil Remus's illusion of happiness for that short time.

The sharp kick under the table at the end of the meal did the trick, though.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Lyric, would you care to go for a walk?"

She looked at him, curious and pleased.

"Of course, Remus."

He held out his hand to her and she laced her fingers in his and it just felt so right that he wanted to cry, but he walked with her up to a little spot on the sixth floor overlooking the lake with a little window seat. He sat down and she sat down in his lap, curling into a little ball and nuzzling his neck sweetly. He almost wanted to scrap the whole thing and make love to her on the spot, but the picture of James's disapproving face in his mind melted into the image of Lyric and Sirius kissing and he knew he had to say something.

"Love, I discovered something today that puts me a bit on edge," he said softly, trying to ignore the way she was running her fingers through his hair.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Oh, she could be the picture of innocence and an absolute devil and it just wasn't fair. It's like she could play whatever part and knew exactly when to be whatever she needed to be.

"It's… well, I was in the library earlier, and I sort of… Well, I kind of saw what I guess you and Sirius might call… studying."

She turned whiter than a sheet.

"What did you see?" she whispered hoarsely.

"I – I saw him kissing you," Remus admitted, "and you were kissing him back."

For the first time, Remus wondered how far the pair had gone, how much he hadn't seen, but he wiped away those painful thoughts, remind himself that what he had seen was bad enough on its own.

Lyric just stared at him, and for a brief and fleeting moment, he hoped that she would deny any such thing. He hoped that she would insist that he had been mistaken, that it had all been a bad dream and she had done no such thing, or even that she hadn't meant it and had pushed him away as soon as he'd turned away from the scene.

But the guilt in her eyes was so clear, so obvious, that he absolutely felt his heart break.

There was no denying it, and Lyric wasn't even going to try.

"What do we do now?" she whispered, her eyes not meeting his. "I mean, I don't want to lose you, but you deserve better than how I've treated you and… and…"

She didn't need to say whatever the 'and' was. Remus knew he never really deserved her in the first place. It was probably going to be something about how Sirius made her feel more alive or loved or wanted or safe or whatever. It didn't really matter what it was, because Remus knew where this was going, as much as it hurt him to admit.

Remus swallowed hard, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, softly, gently, one last time. He knew it was over, and she would never be able to love him again.

"He'd better take good care of you, Lyric," Remus whispered as he pulled away before she could deepen the kiss out of pity (for why else would she?). "If he hurts you, I'll rip him limb from limb, okay?"

Her beautiful eyes were wide with surprise and shining with tears as he stood up and walked away, wishing he didn't have to, wishing she would say something, make him stop, ask him not to leave her. But she didn't say a word and he just kept walking.

When he finally arrived at the dormitory that night, Sirius was playing Exploding Snap with Peter on the floor, and James was on his own bed, a book in hand.

A book?

Yes, there in the hands of James Potter was their Charms textbook, although Remus hadn't been quite sure at first.

"Um, what's going on?" he asked, so bemused that he forgot his own misery for a split second.

"James says he needs to study," Sirius said in an equally disbelieving voice, but it suddenly occurred to Remus what was going on.

James was avoiding Sirius, at least until he figured out how he felt about the knowledge that Sirius had seduced Remus's girlfriend despite his swearing up and down that he wouldn't touch her. With a sigh, Remus sat down on his bed, taking off his socks and shoes methodically.

"She's all yours, Sirius," he said, not looking up from his task, and he could feel the tension in the pause that hung on the air.

Finally, Sirius said, "Who?"

"Lyric," Remus said, wincing at the pain in his own voice.

Remus could see Sirius frown, but it was forced and not as confused as it ought to have looked. The game was over, but Sirius was still trying to hold on to the lie and that made Remus absolutely furious, and it was far more horrible than the fact that the act had happened in the first place.

"If you hurt her," Remus said in a low growl, "than I will personally rip you limb from limb and drag out your death in the most painful way I can possible think of. Is that understood? She's an angel, Sirius. Don't you dare hurt her."

"Remus," Sirius said slowly, "I can tell you that whatever that girl is and as wonderful as she may be, she's not an angel, all right? Now, Lily Evans may be as wonderful as James thinks, but I promise you that Lyric Swanson is not the little picture of perfection that you've painted for yourself. I know this might be painful, but you need to face her flaws."

"There's nothing to face," Remus sighed. "I knew all along she could never truly be happy with a beast like me. She deserves someone who can give her what she needs, and you can do that Sirius, if you promise to treat her well."

"Remus, please," Sirius moaned. "I'm trying to explain this to you. When any of you sets your sights on a girl, I test out her loyalty, or in the case of Lily Evans, her purity, since she's not actually yours yet, James. Anyway, I used the Transfiguration as a sort of a test for Lyric, and we've been flirting for quite a while, but today she… well, I admit, I might have gone a bit far, but when I kissed her she… she kissed me back."

Remus could feel the bile rising up in his throat, knowing that thoughts of what might have happened between them after he left would make him sick if he didn't stop this conversation quickly.

"I know," he choked out. "I saw. Please, Sirius, take care of her. You're better for her than me. Please don't hurt her."

Without another word, Remus rushed into the bathroom and vomited violently, emptying his stomach until he was simply retching bile into the toilet, shaking and pale and sweaty on the cool bathroom floor. He could hear the boys out in the dormitory talking softly.

"I have to date her now, don't I?" Sirius said. "I mean, I really screwed this up, and now I have to be a responsible, wonderful boyfriend, don't I?"

"Yeah," James said. "Because if you don't, Remus will kill you, if I don't get to you first. You've got one thing right, Padfoot, you've made a real mess of things."

"I know," Sirius sighed. "I know."


	10. Like the Mist

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **_**rainbowpop**_**, my most faithful reader and reviewer of this story, whose play is opening today. I worked extra hard on not many hours of sleep to update for the occasion, dear, so please like the chapter!**

**-J**

Losing Remus felt like a punch in the gut. Lyric had never meant for the games and the teasing to go so far, but Sirius was just so good at what he did, and if she was being honest with herself, her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Suddenly, instead of Remus's girlfriend, she was Sirius's girlfriend, and her life was turned absolutely upside down. The fan girls were treating her like she had personally murdered all of their families, although they'd never paid her much attention previously. Remus barely looked at her, and patrols were awkward. Sirius felt awkward about everything, too, and Lyric wondered how she'd even ended up as Sirius's girl, as neither of them had ever officially said anything about it. Sirius had simply taken her hand as he sat down beside her at breakfast, kissed her on the cheek, and whispered, "Go with it," in her ear.

And she went with it, not questioning his behavior, because she had no opportunity to question him about it. And then when she got a chance to question him, she didn't, because it was clear that nobody involved in the situation wanted to discuss what had caused it.

So Lyric Swanson and Sirius Black became Hogwarts's newest couple overnight, and the rumor mill turned frantically. Sirius had gotten her pregnant after she got him drunk and forced herself on him to get revenge on Remus for brushing her off for studying. And that was the least of them.

It wasn't so bad, though, being Sirius Black's girlfriend. She still hung around all the same people, did everything pretty much the same, but when one of them felt like kissing the other in the library, they didn't have to think twice about it. In fact, Madam Pince had kicked them out of the library twice for "fornicating on the tables".

In reality, nothing they had been caught doing could really be classified as anything near "fornication", but Madam Pince had always been on the dramatic side.

It didn't take long for them to actually begin fornicating, although to Sirius's credit, it wasn't on library tables in the middle of the afternoon. It was on the Quidditch pitch at midnight, and as the sun began to rise over their junction, Lyric's sweat mixed in with the dew on the grass and her cries mingled with the earliest bird songs of the day.

And also to Sirius's credit, he was absolutely amazing at sex. His reputation was far from exaggerated, and although Remus had been wonderful… Sirius knew how to do things Remus never would have thought of trying, and he did them well.

There was something a little bit disconcerting in the well-practiced manner all of Sirius's romantic actions and gestures were in, but Lyric didn't dwell on that. It was enough that she was happy, and she was so rarely happy that she ought to be enjoying it.

Oughtn't she?

But she wasn't, not really, not as much as she should.

Perhaps it was something in the pit of her stomach that insisted she was all wrong with Sirius, that everything about their being together, despite how truly amazing it felt, was all wrong. Perhaps it was the fact that she missed that absolutely perfect sensation of belonging she'd had with Remus that seemed blatantly absent with Sirius. Perhaps it was something about the way Remus's eyes looked so hollow when they met hers, as if they were training themselves to look right through her so that he didn't have to face the pain of looking away.

But she didn't want him to look through her. She wanted him to look at her, to see that she wasn't as happy without him, to see that something was missing, but he just kept looking through her, missing the point, missing her pain, missing her she hoped at least half as bad as she was missing him…

They still had patrol together. That was the worst bit. They tried to make conversation, to talk about things, classes, politics, music… Not books. Anything but books.

Some famous musician died at thirty, and Remus made a comment about how sad it was that he died so young.

"It's not so bad," Lyric said earnestly, pausing at a window to look out onto the grounds. "He didn't have to get old. For all you know he might have wanted to die. Be mourned."

"Surely there were people who cared about him, though," Remus insisted. "Not like fans, but people who knew him that truly cared whether he lived or died. Would it be fair for him to want to die while they still lived, loving him, perhaps for decades?"

Lyric laughed and Remus's face scrunched a little, pained. He had said dozens of times how he loved her laugh, but now, she realized, it made him think of losing her, and that made her hurt a bit, too. She shook her head, looking out at the rain.

"I'd like the thought of being mourned. It's a beautiful thing, don't you think, being perpetually mourned by somebody? Anyway, when has life ever been fair?"

She bit her tongue as the bitter thought that if life was fair he would be holding her crossed her mind, and she said nothing. Unrequited love was a beautiful thing, wasn't it? And Sirius didn't treat her badly, in fact he was rather sweet.

But he wasn't Remus, just like mist wasn't the rain. It was still beautiful and wonderful in its own way, but mist would never be anything as beautiful or wonderful, would never be quite like the rain. Sirius would never be quite like Remus. She sighed, trying not to think about things like that, because they only made her sad. Sad was not good.

That was odd, she thought, continuing on the patrol with Remus. She had always thought of sad as a beautiful thing, wonderful and worth embracing. Suddenly, she didn't want to be sad anymore. Why not?

Because sad without Remus was like the bad sort of sad, she realized, and she'd rather be happy with Remus than sad without him. It hurt in a much too painful way.

But maybe it was because Lyric had too much pride to say so out loud, or she thought she deserved the pain for how she treated him, or maybe because she was afraid of hurting him again, but Lyric changed nothing. She stayed with Sirius all through school, and to everyone's surprise, she and Sirius became one of those couples everyone wanted to be, just like Lily and James (who shockingly got together part-way through seventh year). When Lily and James (who had shocked everyone by becoming Head Boy) made their speeches at the end of the year, listing off things like cutest couples, most likely to get married, most likely to be together forever, it was Lyric and Sirius who made the lists, and Remus's name wasn't mentioned once.

Somehow, it was this that made Lyric think about her direction in life more than anything. She had seen, as had everyone else, the beautiful diamond that James had put on Lily's finger the morning they took the train back to London. Was that going to be her, soon, engaged so early, ready to face the war with Sirius at her side? Did she want that?

"I'm not going to propose," Sirius said as he pulled her into an empty compartment for a snog. "Don't worry about that. But I'd like you to move in with me. I've got my own place, plenty of money to support us, and I think it'd be good for you to sever some ties with your family, considering."

He was right about her family. They knew she was joining Dumbledore in the fight against the Death Eaters and her parents were having fits. They didn't want her in unnecessary danger, especially as she relished the very thought of it.

"I think that's probably a very good idea," she said. "Will you pick me up from my house in, about, a week?"

Sirius said he would.

Her parents didn't like that she was moving in with someone, particularly a boy, particularly a Black boy, but there wasn't much they could do when he showed up in Birmingham on his flying motorbike a week later all ready to pick her up.

At first, things went swimmingly. Sirius was extra-sweet, they visited the Potters on Sundays for brunch and Lily and James on Saturday nights for dinner, Lily and James visited Lyric and Sirius on Wednesdays for tea, and they all saw all of each other plus the other Marauders at Order meetings whenever it was decided Order meetings ought to be by whoever decided such things. Lyric and Remus were finally meeting each other's eyes in public, despite how painful it was for both of them, and nobody suspected that Lyric was in pain on the inside for months.

But Lyric knew, and that was all that really mattered.

For a while, the pain was purely internal, but as pain often does, it didn't stay that way. She and Sirius went from not talking about the elephants in the room to screaming about them. One day, screaming turned to fighting, and he actually swung at her. He didn't hit her, and he looked mortified that he'd done it, but it didn't stop him from trying it again on a different day.

And the second time, the third time, the sixth time… he didn't miss those times.

Lyric knew she couldn't keep living that way. She had never been good at healing spells and it was getting harder to hide the marks. She was klutzy, she told herself. Their friends would write it off as an accidental injury, and for a while they did. But then Sirius and Lyric began to lose even the careful veneer of affection they'd managed to hold tenuously in place for the sake of their friends, being cold or downright hostile even outside of his house.

And that was why Lyric stayed. It was _his_ house. He let her stay, so she stayed, mostly because she had nowhere else to go. Her Hufflepuff friends and she had grown apart when they left school. Lyric had wanted to fight a war and they wanted to keep their heads down and pray for their own safety. She couldn't go home, where her parents were intent on keeping her safely away from the action, and thereby everything she cared about anymore. She couldn't move in with Lily, who was beginning her life of marital bliss with James, and even pregnant. That left Remus and Peter, and that would have gone over like a ton of bricks.

Sirius let her stay, so she stayed, and collected bruises like stamps, losing her voice as they screamed at each other, crying herself to sleep and wishing….

What? What did she wish? Hadn't she always wanted a tragic life? Hadn't she always insisted there was more beauty in tragedy than in all the happy things put together?

But this wasn't really tragedy. It was a horror story. Tragedy had some element of happiness that had been ripped away, but she and Sirius had never really been happy together, just friendly. It had been a game, and a game neither of them should have ever been playing with the other, and now there was no way to take it back.

After an Order meeting, they were settled in the sitting room of Lily and James Potter, for they had stopped going to see Mr. and Mrs. Potter once Sirius started hitting Lyric. She suspected he was ashamed of himself and didn't want the people he thought of as parents to know he'd turned out a bit too much like _his_ parents.

Anyway, they sat there, the Marauders, Lily, Lyric. Lyric shuffled her feet on the carpet a bit, making a small but perceptible sound. Sirius hated small but perceptible sounds, and Lyric made a lot of them without thinking. He always said she was being loud, as if he could hear things she couldn't, and together they drove each other mad like that, but he'd never exploded about it in public.

There was a first time for everything.

"Damn it, Lyric!" he growled. "Cut that out, you're driving me crazy!"

Lyric recoiled as if she had been hit physically and James and Lily looked at Sirius with shock. Peter was returning from the kitchen, so Lyric didn't know if he would have been shocked or not, had he heard. And Remus didn't looked shocked, just furious… not with Lyric, but with Sirius.

"Sirius," James said softly, "she was fine. There's no need to shout."

"She was not fine!" Sirius roared. "She's always doing that, Prongs, always! You have no idea, no idea what I go through, what I put up with for this stupid girl!"

That made the timid Lyric, afraid of being hit, snap and turn into angry Lyric, the one who provoked the swings.

"I'm not a stupid little girl, Sirius," she snarled. "Let's not forget I saved your life last week. That Death Eater had you cornered."

"Why didn't you just let him get me, sweetheart?" Sirius growled. "Merlin knows you would have been happier without me. Oh, wait, that's right, you would have had to go back to your parents, and stop driving me crazy, and where would the fun in life have been?"

"My father may keep me in a glass box," Lyric screamed, tears in her eyes, "but at least he never hits me!"

Her eyes widened along with the other eyes in the room and she clapped her hands over her mouth, shocked that she'd actually said the words aloud. Sirius looked equally shocked shaking his head, staring at her, mouthing wordlessly as if he hadn't seen her properly in years. Perhaps he hadn't. They hadn't really been looking at each other. They'd just been screaming.

"I – I mean," she stuttered, worried about what would happen once they got home, now that Sirius had been shocked back in control of his emotions.

"Have you been hitting Lyric, Sirius?" Remus asked softly, the growl of anger obvious in his voice.

"Remus," Sirius said slowly, pleadingly, but he didn't deny her accidental charge.

"Lyric, has Sirius been hitting you?" Lily asked softly, obviously preferring to deal with the possible victim.

"Sirius," Lyric sniffed, tears filling her eyes, "Sirius, we can't go on like this anymore. I don't know how we've lasted so long."

He didn't meet her eyes, looking instead down at his hands, away from the accusing eyes of the others in the room.

"Sirius, please, look at me," she sniffed. "Please, if you ever loved me at all, just look at me."

But he kept looking down at his hands and he said slowly, "I never loved you, Lyric, and you know it. I stayed with you for Remus's sake, took care of you for Remus's sake, but I don't think either of us ever managed to delude ourselves into thinking we were really in love."

There was an awkward sort of pause through the room as Remus breathed heavily, clearly restraining himself from attacking Sirius on the spot, and Lyric quietly sobbed, not entirely sure why she was crying except that her emotions were out of control with all that had just happened.

"I think we could all use some tea," Lily said softly. "Lyric, why don't you come with me into the kitchen and I'll heal your bruises?"

Lyric allowed Lily to lead her off to the kitchen, numb and empty from the shock of the cold truth she had always known being bared before everyone she had left in the world. Lily sat her down on a kitchen stool and carefully and gently healed each bruise, some old, some fresh as that morning.

"How long as this been going on?" a voice asked from the door.

Lyric shrugged.

"Lyric," Remus said, tears in his voice as he walked in from the doorway and moved to sit across from her. "Lyric, please, look at me. I'm so sorry. I never thought he'd… I mean I… I don't even know what to say."

Lily went to take tea out to the others in the sitting room and Lyric lifted her eyes to Remus, staring into the amber eyes she knew so well. Had it really been so long since they were last so close? She couldn't remember a time she'd been close enough to touch him since the day he broke up with her, the day she lost him because of her stupid game with Sirius.

"I love you," she said softly.

He cringed a little and she felt her heart breaking. Had she said something wrong?

"You don't mean that," he muttered, looking down at his hands. "You're saying it because things haven't worked out with Sirius and you're looking for comfort. You can't love me, Lyric, I'm a monster."

"No," she sighed. "Sirius is the monster. He hurt me, and he did it repeatedly with full awareness of his actions. If you ever hurt me, it would only be because you couldn't help yourself or because you thought you were helping me by pushing me away."

Tears filled her eyes again and she whispered, "Please, Remus. Please stop pushing me away. I need you."

Remus shook his head.

"You don't need me," he muttered. "You need someone–"

"Stop it!" she shrieked, her voice breaking with her tears. "Stop telling me what you think I need and stop pushing me away because you think it's going to fix things. It's only making them worse!" His eyes met hers and her heart skipped a beat, not out of the wonderful feeling she usually got from looking at him, but out of dread. What if…?

"Do you not love me anymore?" she whispered, the tears making her sound far more pathetic than she could ever remember sounding in her life, even when she sobbed herself to sleep, nursing the wounds of Sirius's anger.

"Lyric," Remus whispered, eyes wide, swelling with unshed tears as he touched her face gently. "Lyric, I've always loved you. I could never not love you. You're the sun and the world and everything to me."

"Then–"

"But I can't be with you," he choked out, cutting off her proposition swiftly. "I could never live with myself if I was the one to cause your pain. It would be so easy to give in, but I can't, Lyric. You need better than me."

Lyric couldn't accept this. She leaned forward, forcefully pressing her lips on his, and he put up far less of a fight than either of them had expected. What started as a reluctant, hesitant kiss became a full, passionate embrace, and neither of them seemed to ever want to let go of the other. Lyric couldn't believe he tasted the same after the years away from his lips, but she was glad of it.

When he finally pulled away, he whispered, "You can't stay with him."

That much was obvious, but it was easier said than done.

"Remus," she whimpered, "I have nowhere else to go."

"Stay with me," he whispered, running his fingers gently through her hair, burying his face against her neck lovingly. "Come be with me. My flat's not as nice as his house, but–"

"I'll move in tonight," she sighed, relieved. "It has you, Remus, it's the best place in the world."

She felt him sob against her, clutching her tightly as he sniffed, kissing her neck.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she sighed, petting his beautiful brown hair and thinking that for the first time, a happy ending didn't seem like such a bad thing.

**A/N: This is not the end. This story will not have a happy ending. If this shocks you, I refer you back to the prologue.**

**-J**


	11. Lyric Braelyn Swanson Lupin

Remus watched Lyric as she slept, breathing in and out peacefully, safe in his bed. They hadn't made love, like she had wanted. It didn't feel right, after she had just gotten out of Sirius's bed, when Remus still had some unfinished business.

They had just gotten out of an Order meeting when everything went down, talking about more casualties, deaths, pain, war, and they were all emotionally taxed. That was probably what had prompted Sirius's outburst in the first place, and none of them were really prepared to deal with the situation properly. Remus was sure, too, that Lily and James had been particularly calm for his sake. If one of them had raised their voice he would have been triggered, the wolf would have attacked Sirius instantly and Sirius probably wouldn't have made it out of there alive.

But he knew they would all be showing up, like he would, at Sirius's flat, as soon as the clock struck midnight. Lyric could be ascertained to be asleep by then.

And when the clock signaled it was, Remus picked up his cloak, kissed her temple gently, and Disapparated, landing right beside Sirius's front door, glaring at the wooden structure as if it were the one that had hit Lyric, and not the man it held inside it.

Lily and James were there mere seconds later, frowning at him.

"I told you so," Lily sighed to James. "How's Lyric?"

"Sleeping," Remus whispered. "She cried for two hours, Lily. Cried herself to sleep, and I couldn't do anything to really comfort her. It was one of the scariest things I'd ever felt."

"Don't kill him," James warned as they knocked on the door. "If he's not contrite from words, I'll let you hurt him a bit, but don't you kill him. It wouldn't do any good, and she wouldn't forgive you."

Remus nodded, agreeing to the request that ought to have seemed far more reasonable than it felt in that moment. Sirius opened the door and frowned when he saw his friends gathered in front of him.

"I guess we'd better do this inside," he sighed, "rather than out on the street in the middle of the night."

The four of them went into Sirius's sitting room, settling down, no tea, no pleasantries, just a demanding silence.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, although he didn't sound sorry to Remus. Or at least, not as sorry as Remus thought he should be. He ought to be wallowing at Lyric's feet.

"Why did you even do it?" James sighed.

"I don't know," Sirius moaned, rubbing his eyes like a small child. "I just… I don't really remember exactly when it started but I remember that I was so angry with her and… and… I don't know, the first time I didn't actually hit her, but then I guess a week later I hit her. At first I felt horrible about it but it just became the way I let out my frustration and she was always driving me up the wall."

Remus growled deep in his throat and Sirius looked up at him sadly.

"I never wanted any of this, Moony. I screwed up a long time ago and I always thought I could just keep going until I found a way out, but one thing always became another and… I'm just glad she's with you. She'll be happy again. I never really made her happy, Remus. I tried for a while, mostly for the sake of my conscience, but it never was enough, never right. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven, but she's not blameless either."

At this, Remus leapt from his seat and pushed Sirius back against a wall.

"Say that again," Remus snarled.

"She's not!" Sirius insisted. "She made a lot of mistakes for it to get to this point as well, and there's no excuse for my hitting her, Moony, but there was no excuse for her cheating on you, either!"

"You seduced her!" Remus snapped. "If it hadn't been for you, she would have been mine the whole time and she wouldn't have been so hurt!"

Sirius shook his head.

"She flirted back, Moony. Maybe I shouldn't have flirted, but that was as much her fault as mine."

Remus punched him hard across the face, but Sirius didn't fight back.

Eventually, James pulled Remus off Sirius.

"That's enough, Moony," James said softly. "He's suffered enough."

But Remus disagreed. Sirius could never suffer enough. He could never, ever hurt enough for hurting Lyric. Despite the fact that Sirius's face was bruised and swelling, his jaw clearly broken, Remus felt it wasn't enough. Lily would heal it and seconds later Sirius would be completely fine again. Lyric would never be fully fine again. She'd been beaten for months, at the least.

The mental image of Lyric, beautiful Lyric, curled in a corner, cringing from Sirius's blows, tears running down her cheek, a terrified expression on her face. The thought made Remus's hands shake and he said, "I'm never forgiving you for this, Sirius. We may be friends, we may be friendly, but I will never, ever forgive you for what you've done."

"I know," Sirius said, a bit hoarse. "And that's more than I deserve, after everything I've done to you."

Remus hadn't even thought of that, but looking back, Sirius had never treated Remus with the same respect James had received. Between nearly making Remus kill Severus Snape, stealing Remus's girl, and then beating said girl, Remus had definitely gotten the rotten end of the relationship. He never should have forgiven Sirius for the earlier offenses, but this… this was the final straw.

In anger, Remus left the still-irate Lily Potter to shriek at the beaten-down Sirius to crawl back into bed with Lyric back at his own flat.

Lyric was in the middle of a nightmare when he arrived, thrashing in the bed, whimpering, tears running down her cheeks, eyes still closed tightly. Remus's heart ached at the sight of her and without even changing he rushed into bed, pulling her tight against him, waking her as sweetly as he could.

"Lyric," he whispered, smoothing her hair away from her face as she shivered in his arms. "Darling, you had a bad dream. It's all right. It's not real."

"But it is real," she whispered. "It's absolutely real. It wasn't a nightmare, exactly, it was a memory. It was Sirius."

The anger bubbled up in Remus again and he wanted to run back to Sirius's house and beat the life out of him, but with Lyric shaking against his chest the thought of leaving her for even a moment was out of the question entirely.

"He's not going to hurt you anymore," Remus whispered, kissing her temple gently. "He's not going to touch you again. I'm not letting anyone hurt you ever again. I love you, Lyric, so much."

After about an hour, she had calmed down considerably and they still lay awake, her head on his chest, his hands still holding her and caressing her hair gently. He was tired, so tired that he barely noticed when she began to place kisses on his cloth-covered chest, then up his collarbone to his neck. It didn't take long for him to become more alert, the feel of her sweet lips on his skin, just as he had dreamed of since he'd first experience the sensations.

"Lyric," he moaned, wondering if he ought to stop her, have her get more sleep, wait until she was more emotionally herself, but he couldn't bring himself to stop the sensations she was creating within him.

She moaned against his skin as she pressed her lips to his neck, the vibrations driving him mad. He couldn't take it anymore, and Remus lifted her chin so that her lips met his in a hungry, passionate kiss.

Remus couldn't have stopped her if he'd wanted to at that point, and it was certainly the last thing Remus wanted, to lose the feel of her warm, eager body against his, the feel of her wrapped around him as she had not been in so long, too long. Her sighs, her moans, the way she gasped his name… How could he have ever given this up, even for a moment, for even things that made sense? Remus vowed as they climaxed that he would never, ever let go of her again.

And he couldn't sleep after that, holding her peacefully sleeping body against his, shivering at how it felt to hold her again. Remus thought he would never have a chance to be so close to Lyric again, thought she was going to spend the rest of her nights in Sirius's arms. As he ran his fingers through her silky hair he wondered how often they even slept together once things started falling apart between them. He pressed a gentle kiss to her temple.

"I love you, darling," he whispered. "I love you so, so much."

The following days were difficult, it was true, but Remus didn't find them quite so bad. The Order was just as hard of work, and it was increasingly awkward to be in a room with Sirius and Lyric, but the Order was constantly shrinking. The worst thing was, however, some of the things Remus had to do.

"Greyback is gathering quite an army," Remus told Dumbledore one night after all the others had left. "He's likely to take me in, housetrained or no, because of the sheer numbers he's attempting to gather. I'm worried, though."

"About Lyric."

"Yes," Remus said. "What will happen to her? Who will look after her when I'm gone? I don't like it. He already seems to expect me to join. I'm not sure I'm ready to do this yet."

"Of course," Dumbledore said, conceding that it would be difficult with a nod of his head. "Would you like a different mission for now to give you time to decide? I assure you, Lyric will be absolutely safe. She'll probably be complaining of boredom by the time you're back."

Remus hesitated.

"How long would it take?" he asked.

"Three days."

That wasn't very long at all…

"And you promise Lyric will be safe?"

Dumbledore gave a sad sort of smile and said, "She will be as safe as anyone can be in times such as this."

Remus didn't think it was good enough, but he didn't have much choice. If he didn't get out of there for some time, the werewolves would come looking for him and his mind would be made up for him. He needed time to think.

"All right," he said. "Three days."

So Remus went off to deal with a much smaller matter for three long days, excited to see Lyric when he came back. Her birthday was in a week, and he couldn't wait to hint at what he'd gotten for her. His excitement was thus that when he arrived back at the flat, he didn't notice the signs that something was wrong. The door was slightly ajar, and this was the first thing that he did finally notice that put him on edge.

Why would Lyric leave the door ajar? Had she stepped out for a moment?

Remus pushed the door open with a shaking hand, anxious to find her, praying that she was all right on the other side of that door. He didn't see her at first, but there was a rotten stench in the room that was so oddly familiar that he very nearly bared his teeth at the smell of it. As soon as he realized what was causing the scent, he turned the corner into the bedroom and saw the source of the smell itself: Fenrir Greyback.

"Well, well, little Remus Lupin," Greyback growled. "The prodigal pup who didn't really return. You've got yourself a pretty little bitch here. Did she know about your true nature, Lupin?"

"Remus," Lyric whimpered, shying away from Greyback's mouth, which was hovering over her neck.

"Lyric," he choked out, wondering exactly what Greyback was going to do to her, hoping it wouldn't be as bad as what Remus had seen done to several other young girls during his three days with the werewolves. "Lyric, I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault," she said softly, and Greyback's dark laugh filled the room.

"How sweet," he snarled. "Lupin, you were given a chance, and you betrayed our kind to the enemy. Here's a reminder of what happens when you cross us, when you betray your own. Say goodbye to your little bitch."

"Please," Remus gasped, but Greyback wasn't listening. He turned his head ever-so-slightly and ripped a large chunk out of her neck. Remus knew she would bleed to death. Werewolf bites, even not on the full moon, were still cursed wounds. Remus would be unable to heal it. "No. No!"

"Have a nice night, little pup," Greyback said, licking the blood off his lips. "Be sure Dumbledore knows of this, little pup. But that's what you do best, isn't it? Telling Dumbledore things…"

Before Remus had a chance to strike, Greyback tossed Lyric to the side and Disapparated. Remus rushed to her side, attempting to staunch the flow with his hands and ignoring the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

"No," he whispered. "No, Lyric, no I'm so sorry, I–"

"Shh," she soothed, lifting a finger to his lips. "It's all right, Remus, it's not your fault."

"But you're going to die," he whimpered. "You're going to die, love, and–"

"And that's all right," she breathed. "It's all right."

"No," he said stubbornly. "No, it's not all right, lyric. Nineteen is too young to die," he whimpered.

"I want to die young," she breathed. "Saves the pain of growing old."

"What about me?" he sobbed.

But she was already gone.

Remus cradled her in his arms, ignoring her blood, which was all over the pair of them, simply gazing into her beautiful blue eyes, those eyes that had once burned with the light of the sun. They were staring up at him glassily, until he finally could take it no more and gently closed her beautiful eyes one last time, kissing them even as the tears poured onto her face.

Every day after that felt like the hardest. Moving on was difficult. Forgetting her was impossible. Every smile after her death was strained. There was nothing natural about happiness without Lyric.

The other tragedies in his life, they were bad. They hurt. But perhaps they only hurt as much as they did because he had to face them without her. No matter how many years went by, the wounds were still fresh. He never got over losing her, and he honestly never wanted to.

Because losing her was like losing the sun. He was perpetually cold and didn't want to go on living. But she would have liked the thought of someone mourning her forever, so he did. And she watched on like the angel he always knew she was as he tried to pick up the pieces of his life.

For everything was painful after that night. Everything was raw and fresh. Lily and James dying, Sirius's betrayal, Peter's death… Remus was sure he would have been unable to function if Albus Dumbledore hadn't personally made sure that he didn't forget that he'd had good days, too. Nothing could take those away.

It was true, Remus had had good days. He had known the most beautiful and perfect angel to ever walk the earth. And for a little while, he had led the world in his arms. It all fell away, though. Some things weren't meant to last, but they were more beautiful for their brevity.

Going through the life he had long since resigned himself to wasn't any easier for remembering the good days. Because he'd killed her. His foolishness, his eagerness to do something for the war and his inability to hold her at an arm's length had gotten her martyred for the fight against Voldemort. People who had known the pair of them swore up and down that it wasn't his fault. That he didn't kill her. But Remus knew the truth. It was entirely his fault.

And the boy who loved her had become the man who needed her. But she was gone. And it was entirely his fault.

/-/

"She's not a saint, Moony," Sirius said softly. "Beautiful, wonderful, perfect for you, perhaps, but not a saint. I'm to blame in a lot of her pain, and I'll be the first to admit that what I did to her, to you, was so wrong. But you can't keep blaming yourself for her death. She would hate that you blamed yourself for something that brought her peace."

"She shouldn't have died like that," Remus sniffled, attempting to drown his tears in more firewhiskey.

It was the anniversary of her death.

"Look, Remus," Sirius sighed, "none of them should have died the ways they did. But you know it's exactly how she would have wanted to die, and isn't that enough? I'm not saying don't mourn her, but don't stop living because she's gone. It's been years, mate. Please, don't do that to yourself. You know she wouldn't want you to."

"That's not it and you know it," Remus said, although that was half of what was wrong with pursuing Nymphadora Tonks.

"Whatever, Remus, she probably would have died whether you'd gone on that mission or not," Sirius growled. "Don't be so full of yourself. Don't be so stupid. She would hate you stealing her thunder, you know."

Remus smiled a little at that, in spite of himself.

She would, it was true.

Taking out his wand, he cut a small wound on his left palm and daubed his finger into the blood. Sirius groaned.

"I wish you wouldn't do that, Moony. It's gross. Ugh, please don't tell me you did this every year."

And Remus nodded and he wrote in blood on the table:

_Lyric Braelyn Swanson Lupin_.


End file.
